#3 Did I find DB too late? Maybe not...

[MichelleLT]

That's great info to have. My H's are words of affirmation (WOA) and physical touch (PT). So I have been conscious about trying to compliment him whenever we talk - about his new job, his workouts/how he looks, how school is going, etc. My goal was one compliment every conversation.

[cw68]

Mine is definitely physical touch. When we met I think physical touch was one of his with WOA, but I don't know if physical touch means as much anymore.

I, too, have been trying to compliment him more. He once said that he felt that I took him for granted. Guess I told my friends good things about him more than I told him.

[MichelleLT]

Mine is definitely physical touch. When we met I think physical touch was one of his with WOA, but I don't know if physical touch means as much anymore.

Can't hurt though right? Mine is PT as well. I took the online quizzes and scored the highest possible in that, and nothing else came close. The lower 3 weren't even in the same order on the two quizzes.

I, too, have been trying to compliment him more. He once said that he felt that I took him for granted. Guess I told my friends good things about him more than I told him.

I also was told I took my H for granted. His wanting out definitely woke me up and I will try never to do it again.

[cw68]

I still reach out to him here and there. Part of it is that I just crave the touch. The other part is that I want some little positive touch between us just so that it's not completely gone. As much as I know he craves his solitude, I want him to remember what it feels like to sit on the stairs lacing up your shoes while someone scratches your back. Sometimes while driving, I'll reach over and touch his neck. We were very PDA for the first few years, then it died out. He definitely stopped all PDA so I know the little times he reaches out means a baby step. During our conversation the other night, when he said he didn't want to do something with me and get me confused that it meant something I said to him, "On the flip side, if I reach out and touch your hand, it just means that I wanted to touch your hand right then."

I'm mailing H a little note today telling him what a great time we had yesterday and I'm going to thank him for driving the whole time so I could work on my crossword puzzle. When we were dating I sent notecards all the time. That's a good thing for a WOA guy.

[newnamenewlife]

What if they won't let you touch them? My H seems to recoil at my touch and certainly won't touch me anymore. We were PDA too--the couple that was so in love we made everyone sick. Oh, for those days!

[MichelleLT]

I had this problem for a while - where H would barely let me hug him let alone touch him. Luckily he is "bilingual" with his love languages, so I worked on words of affirmation. Now that OW seems to be ex-OW and he is more receptive, I'm working on both love languages.

Sorry for the hijack.

[Virtually_Handsome]

I need to finish that book!

I am not allowed to touch W at all, to speak of, haven't
been for two years, maybe a bit more. Sometimes I can hug, but it is clearly one way, so I don't do that much anymore. Maybe if I can figure out what LL might speak to her, I can get somewhere, though there are big walls that will need to come down first.

Thanks for reminding me, Michelle!

Sorry for the continued hijack!

[MichelleLT]

And continuing...lol

http://www.selectsmart.com/FREE/select.php?client=lovelanguages

http://www.greaterquest.com/LoveLanguages.asp

http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/30sec.html

Do a couple of these quizzes - both for yourself and your spouse. It can be very revealing about yourself and if you can guess at your spouse's LL or better yet, get them to take the quiz, it can make things so much easier.

[cw68]

Sometimes he up for it. Sometimes he's neutral and sometimes he's not into it. I think I can read it often, but if I'm not sure, I just stop.

Hijack away, interesting stuff.

H has had headaches and stomachaches for the last couple of weeks due to stress, we were talking about it tonight. I recommended that he just relax tonight and try to figure out a way to destress. Also said that he should try yoga with me at the club sometimes (I've gotten him to go to one yoga class in seven years, a prenatal yoga class) and he said that he would, even asked what time they had classes he could make. I also told him that he could grab one of my yoga DVDs that I have, they are AM energy and PM relaxation exercises, he said that was a good idea.

After we got off of the phone I worried that I was pushy CW, so I sent him a quick text, "Hope I didn't come off as pushy there, I just care about you and am concerned about your head & tummy. Sleep well."

Got a GREAT response: "No you didn't at all. I appreciate the concern. Starting to come out of the haze."

Of course, I'm hope the haze is this silliness, but I realize it's probably not. I do hope his headaches and upset stomach goes away. I just responded: ":)"

[minkerman]

Sounds really good, CW. Make sure you dwell on the positives...that way you will project a positive attitude, which is contagious.