My only advice for now, is to get more detached. Asking for a kiss on the lips and all the apologizing just sounds needy and desperate to me. With moving more officially into the other room, you should also move mentally away from your husband as well. Don't just separate physically; separate emotionally. Try to get yourself into the mindset that you are separated in all ways until such a time as he more actively pursues a relationship with you; that means no hugging, no kisses (not even on the cheek), and no relationship talks. There is nothing to talk about...he's found his soulmate in someone else. Without even trying, he's got you considering yourself the ogre for his having an affair.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
