if I could chime in...you need to stop "spying"...it will eat you alive. Furthermore, only 1 of 2 things will happen. a) you will confirm that it's not a big deal and thus feel the same as you do now. b) you will confirm that it is a big deal and feel horrible. You will get no benefit from option a) or b)...so, don't spend your time figuring her out. You won't...Additionally, you are living your life through her actions. Not your own. You have to drop it. Don't worry about it. Do you really need answers to those kind of questions? And if you talked in person, phone, whatever, would you get the answer or lie...would it make a difference? I just don't see the point...just going to hurt more.
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1. Why does she seem so angry still after being out 6 weeks?
2. Do I believe her about not dating? Or is there someone already in the wings?
3. Why the need for so such secrecy?
4. Will she ever remember anything good about the marriage? Or will she need to lie and hide from herself for a long time
1) mine was hateful, angry, rage, whatever for 5 months. Now she is friendly every time I see her...not friends yet. Some never drop the anger. I imagine it just depends. 6 weeks seems like a short period of time. Mine was just getting reved up on hateful things then.
2) That's a personal question...do you believe?...have no idea why you would or would not believe her...I will say you are trying to rationalize what she has done. That is not going to work.
3) ummm...I really think some of this is just creating distance from the sitch and you. When they are that kind of angry, I just don't see them sharing a thing with the LBS. Perhaps, they are sharing things with friends or whatever...but once again that is their actions and you have zero control over it. Don't spend time on this...drive you crazy and get nothing out of it.
4) probably...maybe...who knows...don't spend time worrying about it. Focus on you. What answer would she give you? yeah I do, come home? Or nope, not at all, can't stand you, sign 'em now...you aren't going to get the answer you want.
And just so it doesn't sound, fill in the blank, I actually asked my W something very similar to 4...next day I realize how silly a question it was...don't feel bad. We are just hurt and looking for something. BTW, about a minute of silence then a calm, friendly, "i am getting off the phone now, sorry you had a bad day, good-nite." Thought it as positive as could be...but don't ask, it's a silly question. You won't get the answer(s) you want.
