Well, what a difference a week makes. Saturday, my W asked me to meet her a pizza place with her and the kids. I met them and kept everything light. I played with the kids and let the W talk about whatever she wanted to talk about. It was mainly about the kids and stuff, but I had a good attitude. We didn't talk about us, which was good because I wasn't prepared for that. she then told the kids, who were acting up, that she is glad she invited me because she knew they were going to bad. When we left, I told her thank you for inviting me and she said no problem. Not great, but not bad either. Take it for what it's worth right? Look for the little things.
Then at church yesterday, when she came in, her mother was sitting beside me, when her mother was going to move over and let her sit beside me, she shook her head no and sat on the other side of her mother. I had allowed myself to have expectations and I got upset. I didn't show it, but I was hurting again.
So, what have i learned. No matter what, take it all in stride. Do not let what she does bother me. I have to build my wall back up again and not let her tear it down. Maybe next time she asks me to do something, politely decline. I may risk losing a chance of her wanting to talk about something, but if she does, there will be other chances.
