That's why in my story it says "you go in, carefully..."
I can see you are past this point but your H sounds a mess. Why on earth do you expect to get a decent reaction out of him at the moment? Maybe he is a mess because as Woog says, you stuck to your guns for the first time EVER? Maybe you helped him a bit to become the person he is now. What are your choices now? Bbj, if you think he is a GOOD man then give him a chance to get his act together. For the first time, give him CLEAR directions what you want from him by sticking to your firm position. Let him find his way.
You are asking me what to do with your kids while you do not know what is happening in the future? Do you remember where I stand? Exactly the same status. THEY KNOW that their Dad may come back or may not come back. They are discussing it with me and him. They are confused. I am dealing with this. Long term wise, as much as, you keeping quiet a bit longer, confuses them, believe me, once/if their dad is back home they will forget, they are still young. My C even, although she forces my H to make a decision, she tells me that if the outcome is good they will be fine.
Whay don't you call a C, ask yours, explain exactly what is going on, if there is another way to handle this (Sorry Woog, I don't agree with Bbj telling S just now). If you were in the same city, I would say go ahead. But now, what is the problem? You have a reason why you two do not live together, it's not even a lie (yet)...
