Your H sounds so confused. He does not have a clear vision of his own future, let alone that of a family. I agree with Woog - you just have to live your life without any expectations of him.
It is so tough to hear the words of your S's wishes. However, as you mentioned, living in a loveless marriage may not be in the best interest of the children. I mentioned all 3 options before to W and she too could not fully understand the best option - work on being happy in the marriage.
I am in a similar situation because my W also does not have any idea of her long term future. She is still living with OM and I am living my life as if we are divorced. I dont know when I will pull the final trigger, but I do know that as time passes, I am losing more and more interest in wanting to continue to be married to the person my W has become.
Just as in my situation, only you can answer the question of when enough is enough. I just dont see the need to rush things now as I am fairly content (other than lack of love and intimacy).
As for the ear infection, has a doctor ever recommended to having the adenoids removed? My S had this operation done when he was 5 and has not had an ear infection since. There is the risk because of the anesthesia they use which should be considered. My boy had some breathing problems when he came out of the anesthesia and he was very scared and crying.
