Can I post here ?

[Mark1965]

Tiredandlost,

Please forgive me for going over most things again.. But ..It also is a help for me too..

Also I understand their are always :

3 sides to every story
My Side
Her Side
What really happened??

Thank you for the warm welcome..I am again just shaking again this morning -just thinking of her -It does cut worse than a knife .. It is like mourning a loss of a Loved one..

I always try to remember the following :

It feels like it is a crime to love something or someone so much.
But the real crime is not ever knowing that Love..


Her loss of her Son-
It has completely changed her...She was a somewhat big drinker and WE both went overboard for the last 2 years with me as the enabler and drinker.But she still tells everyone -Had it not been for me holding her hand - walking the every mile with her- as a parent and her friend, she claims doesn't know how she would have made it though it..

This year I also found where my state provides free counseling to families of lost ones on our state hi-ways - all free and paid for though our state hi-way patrol. It is a non-profit -Heck for that matter -Pass it along her on this board -It really should go Nationwide..

See last year I started writing the "In Memorials" in our local paper for the 1st year and this year..Using her thought's about his loss from her and the family.. Real tear jerker stuff - But so heart felt - Though I never even knew her son.. But listening to her - and various cards given to her though the year- was able to put together the "In Memorials" - It also makes me cry when I read it myself.. As a parent..

On not even being Married :
WTH??? I know .. Amazing..

This really ways on my mind..I did know she was married but separated for 10 months and tried 1 time attempt to get back together with her(H)when her son passed . On the attempt to get back together with (H)she caught him again with his ex(W).He also pushed her around to the point of she got a restraining order against him.She then cut it all off with him..Then she cut it all off with him. Then approx 2 months later, that is when I met her..

(OM) :
It started innocently for G/F-But i always knew he had a plan - Seeing my weakness towards her-He clearly set a plan to befriend her-Use my jealousy against me with her. Then when she would run me off (green eyed monster) he has divided us- She then has picked him over me.. It has worked..

Also - He would encourage her to become more involved with her younger girlfriends and their drama problems.As all these people are approx same age late 20's through mid-30's..She is such a great listener and problem solver. But we are not that age for all their drama..

AND NOW THEIR TYPE OF DRAMA ISSUES HAVE COME TO US???
Thereby continuing to divide us even further- and because then he could advise her with her friends - but along getting her to call and talk and text him more and more.. Again causing me further problems with this whole ordeal.. It worked - BEAUTIFULLY..

(OM) and his family:
I would bring up to my G/F with -
He claims to be so happy - He is not being truthful at all..He would/should be spending time with his young children and his wife.. Heck I told him that in person- He got really pissed and said -He was happy and it wasn't my business- I told him samething- Then you should spent more time with your wife and family -Than with my G/F..He is to much available to G/F.. She would claim - NO - NO -I am reading into it.. He loves his family..
Well - she then tells me -He is mad with his wife and wanted to know if it was OK to come over..
She then later (few days)tells my (D) He was wanting to be just a roommate in her house- crap..
Then I find out on nights she wasn't at my house - He would appear at her house ..


He is a truck driver (independent) -She has a BOOK-
"How to obtain your CDL".. The license needed to drive a truck..

He and she claims - I am causing trouble with his wife- That is such a lie.. I have wanted to - But have refrained - I feel It would encourage them even more..

It also just kills me for his current family much less, He has left another family in the next state over before- With a child then - But she is nearly grown now..

The more I write this story- I hurt -I am hoping to see more clearly though this whole mess..

I just know - If one could work though it- Like a Opinion..
The outside is non-usable, but the middle is what we all seek.. I know it in my heart.. Not blinded by love.. I know..

WHAT ARE THE THOUGHTS FROM THE HERE?

Yes - She has to be willing to work on(R)issues.. I feel she has never truly dealt with any issues.. With me or anybody else(loss of her son) her own family anything..God I wish she would..

I understand I can not force it.. It has never worked before - B/C- This is a 1st for(EA)or anything like this,but we have had issues that would split us for a day or two..Never 3 days..

It doesn't matter to G/F about him being(M). He has her so snowballed into his spin of things.

Also in her mind - As far as us,We are broken up.
He is only a friend to her and up to at least Friday - Never has been out of the way - or -so she claims - So seriously and admittedly about it..

So - Is where my question of at least contact her and tell her when or if she would like to work on our (R) -To please atleast contact.. That we could overcome anything.. Atleast it would give her something to think about.. I am afraid she is thinking that -I am done and pissed and not calling .. It kinda is her game.. I wonder..

V/R,
Mark


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