VERY much "script." A cheating spouse will make the decision to have an affair, oftentimes never having told their betrayed spouse of the depth of their unhappiness. THEN, when caught, they will go back and re-write the marital history, claiming to have been unhappy all along, often going so far as to say "well, it's really like we were separated, emotionally, so I don't really think it's even adultery."
I had Valentine's Day and Anniversary cards from my wife, three months and one month respectively before she started her affair, both of which included nice, long handwritten notes of genuine love and admiration for me. During her affair, of course, she said "it's been years since I felt that way about you." At one point, I actually said "Well that's funny, you gave me very nice Valentine's and anniversary cards this year, and even wrote very nice, I THOUGHT heartfelt, notes in them. Were you lying then, or are you lying now?"
She looked at me like I was speaking another language, stammered, and stormed out of the room.
Later, when reconciling, she admitted that the OM had "messed with her mind" and "it's like I was in a fog, or I was someone else or something."
