Can I post here ?

[Mark1965]

Also I have been a wusse up til this point - I have thought about buying the book and website: http://www.[censored].com/ .. Has anybody ever read it or tried it's ideas..Always gave in - I held out the olive branch.. She would readily concede and quickly for me, as if that was a "q" she needs for her pride and selfness?? She was stating last Friday night when talking brutally about me -

That she could have this person or that person .. Why would she put up with me??

We have had some issues in the past.. Should I finish the every detail of our relationship..

I do have issues -I need to clear up for myself.. I just keep running them through my head .. For 2 days now..

I would disclose them here - But am afraid of the rejection from this broad.. I really just don't know to go with them ..

It is not like -I continue or continued with my bad stuff- But she couldn't or will not let go of them..

I need this board to help me through this crap.. I wish I wasn't the type that needed approval from others to forgive myself? Is that normal ??

Mark

[Mark1965]

making her happy dot com

[fightingirish]

Hey Mark,

Just got through reading your stitch... So sorry you are here. Also sorry about the loss of her child. That is awful.

My advice to you is this, you have to stop pursuing her. I know you said she needs to be pursued, but that clearly isn't working at the moment.

No begging or pleading with her. Do things that make you feel good and get your mind off of things.

Everyone makes mistakes and NO R is perfect by a long shot, its what we make of it. What worries me is that you all aren't even married, she's not even D from her H and she seeing OM? She clearly has some issues. I know this hurts like a knife through your heart, but she has to be the one to show some interest in working through your R, and you can't force it.

She doesn't know what she wants... did she tell you why she is with OM? and it Ticks me off so bad that this guy is M too and with small children.. that boils my blood, no morals or anything!!

I think you should distance yourself from her. She seems to have no problem being with someone that is M with children, and that is bad too.


The only other thing I can say is when someone loses a child sometimes they change. My inlaws loss a child and they were never the same, did some really out of the ordinary things and endedd up divorcing.. has she ever gotten C for her loss??

tal

[Mark1965]

Tiredandlost,

Please forgive me for going over most things again.. But ..It also is a help for me too..

Also I understand their are always :

3 sides to every story
My Side
Her Side
What really happened??

Thank you for the warm welcome..I am again just shaking again this morning -just thinking of her -It does cut worse than a knife .. It is like mourning a loss of a Loved one..

I always try to remember the following :

It feels like it is a crime to love something or someone so much.
But the real crime is not ever knowing that Love..


Her loss of her Son-
It has completely changed her...She was a somewhat big drinker and WE both went overboard for the last 2 years with me as the enabler and drinker.But she still tells everyone -Had it not been for me holding her hand - walking the every mile with her- as a parent and her friend, she claims doesn't know how she would have made it though it..

This year I also found where my state provides free counseling to families of lost ones on our state hi-ways - all free and paid for though our state hi-way patrol. It is a non-profit -Heck for that matter -Pass it along her on this board -It really should go Nationwide..

See last year I started writing the "In Memorials" in our local paper for the 1st year and this year..Using her thought's about his loss from her and the family.. Real tear jerker stuff - But so heart felt - Though I never even knew her son.. But listening to her - and various cards given to her though the year- was able to put together the "In Memorials" - It also makes me cry when I read it myself.. As a parent..

On not even being Married :
WTH??? I know .. Amazing..

This really ways on my mind..I did know she was married but separated for 10 months and tried 1 time attempt to get back together with her(H)when her son passed . On the attempt to get back together with (H)she caught him again with his ex(W).He also pushed her around to the point of she got a restraining order against him.She then cut it all off with him..Then she cut it all off with him. Then approx 2 months later, that is when I met her..

(OM) :
It started innocently for G/F-But i always knew he had a plan - Seeing my weakness towards her-He clearly set a plan to befriend her-Use my jealousy against me with her. Then when she would run me off (green eyed monster) he has divided us- She then has picked him over me.. It has worked..

Also - He would encourage her to become more involved with her younger girlfriends and their drama problems.As all these people are approx same age late 20's through mid-30's..She is such a great listener and problem solver. But we are not that age for all their drama..

AND NOW THEIR TYPE OF DRAMA ISSUES HAVE COME TO US???
Thereby continuing to divide us even further- and because then he could advise her with her friends - but along getting her to call and talk and text him more and more.. Again causing me further problems with this whole ordeal.. It worked - BEAUTIFULLY..

(OM) and his family:
I would bring up to my G/F with -
He claims to be so happy - He is not being truthful at all..He would/should be spending time with his young children and his wife.. Heck I told him that in person- He got really pissed and said -He was happy and it wasn't my business- I told him samething- Then you should spent more time with your wife and family -Than with my G/F..He is to much available to G/F.. She would claim - NO - NO -I am reading into it.. He loves his family..
Well - she then tells me -He is mad with his wife and wanted to know if it was OK to come over..
She then later (few days)tells my (D) He was wanting to be just a roommate in her house- crap..
Then I find out on nights she wasn't at my house - He would appear at her house ..


He is a truck driver (independent) -She has a BOOK-
"How to obtain your CDL".. The license needed to drive a truck..

He and she claims - I am causing trouble with his wife- That is such a lie.. I have wanted to - But have refrained - I feel It would encourage them even more..

It also just kills me for his current family much less, He has left another family in the next state over before- With a child then - But she is nearly grown now..

The more I write this story- I hurt -I am hoping to see more clearly though this whole mess..

I just know - If one could work though it- Like a Opinion..
The outside is non-usable, but the middle is what we all seek.. I know it in my heart.. Not blinded by love.. I know..

WHAT ARE THE THOUGHTS FROM THE HERE?

Yes - She has to be willing to work on(R)issues.. I feel she has never truly dealt with any issues.. With me or anybody else(loss of her son) her own family anything..God I wish she would..

I understand I can not force it.. It has never worked before - B/C- This is a 1st for(EA)or anything like this,but we have had issues that would split us for a day or two..Never 3 days..

It doesn't matter to G/F about him being(M). He has her so snowballed into his spin of things.

Also in her mind - As far as us,We are broken up.
He is only a friend to her and up to at least Friday - Never has been out of the way - or -so she claims - So seriously and admittedly about it..

So - Is where my question of at least contact her and tell her when or if she would like to work on our (R) -To please atleast contact.. That we could overcome anything.. Atleast it would give her something to think about.. I am afraid she is thinking that -I am done and pissed and not calling .. It kinda is her game.. I wonder..

V/R,
Mark


So

[thegoodfight]

Think about what you want, have you been walked on? She got involved with another man, some need is not being meet. You are not the fixer you can't fix her! She has to want, then commit to fixing herself. Fixers are the nice people that get trampled on most of the time.

She is telling you and others she wants to be with some one else.

Call her up tell her your leaving her stuff on the front porch for her to pick up! You enjoyed your relationship together, and wish her well in the next one. YOu will be sad, you will hurt, it may seem like a bad idea, but she will respect you down the road.

The message you send is you can not walk on me forever, be with me or don't it is your choice, but I will not play games with you.

Best of luck to you!

[Mark1965]

Uhmm .. Thegoodfight.

I know as much as I wish I could or she would want to or fix (R)-It is something she has to want to do..She is just shutting down towards me.. It isn't a problem for the horses,cats, Bearded Dragon ..Though it does feel as if she is getting her cake and eating it too..It hasn't nor doesn't cost me anything yet.. Farrier isn't do until mid-May and will shots isn't due until same..

BUT AM THANK FOR YOU THOUGHT'S..
Food for thought for sure..
Not sure ready to complete that yet.. But yes-I have been the fixer and doormat ..That is what provoked me Friday night to leaving her house ...No respect or boundaries with me as a doormat..

I have gone dark with her though..

[Mark1965]

She g/f has been calling all night - I didn't return calls - I did though call her back- after I have been drinking - She claims she wants our dog among things.. It is all my fault again. I kept repenting the same -I love you with all my heart-She claims her side- It goes nowhere.. I tried to load her dog (bailey) he is what GOD sent to me to get though this mess.. I asked her repeatedly to come to my house and when she was ready to work things out - Then I would go 125 % .. But until she comes clean and understands what she has been doing -Then do we really have anything to discuss.. Look she was the one whom said repeatedly - We aren't married -But I know she loves me to the decree that words are unspoken - I pray to my LORD -MY SAVIOR to get though this =-I even offered to show her this website and my post.. To only prove my point.. That this is killing me .. She claimed she had to go to work and it's late in the night.. That I could come over to her house with the dog-I told her that I wasn't going to disrupt my entire house for her .. When she decides to work on our )R) -I am there 125% ..

Until then -What ever she wants -come and get. I have bounderies too ..

DAMN I LOVE HER SO MUCH ..
V/R.
MARK
F*c&& I love her some much ..
Mark

[Mark1965]

Good Mornig All,

GREAT NEWS , WONDERFUL NEWS.. DBING at its best - What to know - Ask ME !!! i GOT A LETTER on my bed when I got home last night ..
I have finally started being an man - instead of the doormat to wipe her feet on..!!! She does truly love me - As most of all our partners do !! Still a long way to go .. But - Progress based on DBing..

The piss me off thing-She bought a dog - and wants its back now .. I said -It is not a weapon..

V/R,
Mark

[Mark1965]

Want too know --Opps..
I realize that nobody may believe this story-But I have all the information and contacts and I have now gone broke,So I am back to being a regular dude and what Hundreds of thousands of dollars of your money can buy you into.. But most people would have paid everything off -instead of trying to do good and save the American Warfighter ..
love you all so damn much !!! I want a success --As When I started this and was talking about my stitch-My (our) story is a made for TV.. It has it all--money, sex, drinking, travel , SENIOR GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS and the beltway of DC.,black trench coats and mirrored or dark sunglasses discussing global events and the best value and the USA Government response .. and other things I care not to discuss -BUT -- WOWOWOW...Anyway to our (R)..

[Mark1965]

We justed talked again this morning.. I am so greatful..We are going to discuss our (R)..

We are discussing our pitfalls.. She does love me and seems as willing as I to put forth the effort..

Her family has told her to wear my shoes for one day regarding (OM).

She understands me alot better as a result..

She knows EA with(OM)could lead to more than just EA.. I do believe she has crossed any bounderies at this time..

She wanted to meet after I get off work - I asked her to join me at the Gym.She again states maybe tomorrow-She wants to go with me tomorrow-She suggested we meet for dinner and go to my lake on my farm to discuss and start PIERCING..

I said-I Love you so much.. She said I Love you too and it has been a rough 4 days for her..I said and for me too.. She said she and her family missed me at the birthday party Saturday for her mom.. I said and I belonged there as well..Just like you belong at my home-But you didn't come home either..You couldn't- But I couldn't , I just couldn't..

So for tonight -PLEASE PRAY FOR US !!! I told her I can't meet her after work-But willing for her to join me at the GYM (GAL).. But sinse b/c she isn't going -I said then I will meet you after I get back form the GYM.You call me aor I will call you and we can then meet for a dinner or coffee.She was stunned -But said OK- She then said-Lets then go to the house (our house) and go to the lake.. I is a beautiful and I am glad she is again interested in our farm.. Now if I can get her re-interested in our show coming first weekend in May.. We draw about 14,000 for it and it is a family out-door event.. Also still a little soon to re-involve her into my Shriner events -I am on the exc. staff and have many , many events I must travel for..I am a Director-So I must attend.. Plus it is for free health care for the burned or crippled children and their families..

Oh -PLEASE PRAY FOR US..

Also I still have the doctors appointment for the Meds..