Hope4us' Struggle, part 2

[Hope4us]

Thanks Pup, Saffie. I hope I've not given the wrong impression in my posts since Friday. Let me post where I'm at and you guys can let me know what you think.

CHEATERS LIE. I know that very well. Do I think WW is being truthful with me that she told OM she couldn't talk to him again? Not in a million. Do I think it matters at this point? Maybe, maybe not. And I'll tell you why. OM is a serial cheater, but he's not stupid. OMW told me that she thinks he's already got another one lined up in the town he lives in now. Why would he want to waste his time with WW when she's so much trouble (including her STD)? Friday night WW said some things that confirmed he wasn't too happy about that being exposed to him. OMW is going to divorce him. When they divorce, do you think he's going to want the kind of pressure that WW would put on him for more and more? I just don't see that. If he wanted to be married, he would just do what his current W asks of him and avoid the child support and alimony she's going to take him for.

But that's not really what matters from my side. What matters is my WW's ACTIONS. I will be watching her like a hawk. She already passed the first test. I went home for my mom's 77th birthday party and DS16 went to a concert and then spent the night with the guys he went with. If WW was going to arrange a meet with OM, it was the perfect opportunity. He could have came up here and there was no way I'd have ever known. But when I got home yesterday morning, there were no miles on her car other than the exact mileage that she would have from driving DS16 to the concert meeting place and then to pick him up in the morning. So there's one thing that she's proved to me she's doing what she says. Only 7,248 more of those to go before I begin to trust her again.

Then there's our kids. They have both told her (more so DS16) that if she ends up with this loser at any time there won't be happy holidays at her new home. DS16 told her that if she continued talking to him he would have nothing to do with her. Does that mean she's stopped now? Maybe, maybe not. But it has to weigh on her everytime she does, if she is.

So....again, actions, not words. And yesterday while I was driving home from my mom's house, I really figured out, I'm pretty much done with her. If she wants to waste her life and her kids lives, I don't really care. I can't make her do anything. And if this is the kind of person she's become, I really don't want to be with her anyway, so it's up to her. She either shows me by her actions that she's trust worthy or I'm outie when the time comes.

Thinking on a more positive note, Her moods have been all over the place. Like I mentioned, Friday we talked like we haven't in a long time. Saturday morning and after she got back from shopping she was pretty up, but then last night when I got home she was pretty down. Layed down on the couch, ready for bed by 7:00. Was very quiet and didn't say a whole lot to me. I guess that indicates to me that NC may be in place. Her moods the next couple of weeks will probably go a long ways towards me believing whether or not she's being honest with me on the NC.

Like you said Pup, it took a while for your W to agree to your conditions after exposing to your kids, etc. And I'm going to keep up the pressure for the things I need to move forward, but I figure if she's being honest about ending it with OM (and that's yet to be determined) that only one week from her saying that she has ended contact is really too soon to expect much from her. But I will keep after that. Count on it.

One last thing, OMW has asked me if I'll testify at her divorce trial. I'm thinking I'm going to tell her I'd rather not, but if she supeona's me I don't have an option. I'm also going to tell her that we should probably quit talking unless its because either of us has evidence that WW and OM are still talking/getting together. That way OM and WW have no reason to be talking if she's serious about trying us. And I'm going to tell WW that very thing tonight. Tell her that OMW contacted me about testifying, that I told her I'd rather not and that I told her that we shouldn't be talking to each other anymore so my marriage can have the best chance to make it, but if I feel/know that she and OM are still talking I'll agree to testify and make OM's and WW's lives as miserable as I can. Of course, I won't say it that way, but she'll get the picture.

Comments please.....