Internet friendships?

[kolle]

The other night W tells me, I feel trapped. I say, I can understand that. She says, How the h$$$ would you understand. I tell her, because all the books say it is how you would feel now. You are abandoning me, my natural reaction is symbiotic regression, that means I become dependent on you like a baby. I latch on to you like an octopus. That's why you feel trapped. Its normal. She says, Boy you'll always put a big name to everyting, won't you. I says, making the diagnosis is the first step to finding a cure. She grunts, and I leave the room.

She told me a hundred times before that she felt trapped. But now that I am DBing I would like to know what is the appropriate DB response. Do I just withdraw myself from her to give her space? Do I offer to move out? Do I ignore it?

After W had the OA I hacked her email account password, she knew it , I told her I wanted full access to her email so that I could learn to trust her again (as in the book the 5 languages of apology) Our c agreed, so she did not change her password again. A while ago I realised she had changed her password, but I did not say anything. Then last night when I entered the family room she was busy writing an email, when she realised I was standing behind her she quickly closed the window and was furious at me for "violating her privacy" by reading over her shoulder. I said, why does it bother you, are you writning to X (OM) again? The moment I said it I realised it was a mistake and left the room, I went to reread a chapter or two of DR, and it took the rest of the evening to get that email out of my head.

She probably just wrote to a friend (girl) abour our R and did not want me to read it. But the idea that she may have an A again drives me crazy. I have decided not to hack her new password but the temptation to do so is enormous!I want to do it NOW!

This morning I told her, I really like your hair done just so and so, it looks beautiful. She smiled and said thank you. Baby step forward? I sincerely hope so. I need some hope after all the recent disasters.