I don't think the new job smacks of a new interest. Not in two weeks. On the contrary, I think she needed some financial security, making something on her own, before she felt safe enough to bail.
I'll read the rest of your posts now, but wanted to say that. And make some comments about couples who face these types of cruel blows from life. Perhaps your W has struggled with depression, "faked" as if she was not depressed when you got the MBA (congrats) b/c to her, that was "trying" and for many WASs, the definition of "trying" or "Working at the M" is by waiting to file for D, or staying in the house... Sounds as if your W may also be grieving belatedly and frankly, that's not BS.
BOth she and you have reasons for being deeply saddened by the death of your daughter, and blessed also, by your healthy son. Though your spina bifida son has problems, and they vary widely in severity so I don't know how disabled he is, but I am sure he also brings you joy.
What plans, if any, does your W have for custody of them? Guess I need to go read up on your sitch. So many issues possible. I'm sorry for you, and I'm sorry for her.
A friend of mine lost a daughter at 3 months, and it was a big deal. To some people I think it was under rated, in that we heard odd insensitive comments about "thank God she only lived a short time".... I guess they meant well, as if it'd be worse if she had lived longer and then died. Who knows? Anyhow, she and her H also have a hilarious 6 year old little boy who just got diagnosed with serious juvenile diabetes. He's Already on insulin injections and has had the ambulance over a few times, including one coma. They're talking of possible dialysis? I've never heard of a kid on dialysis..... Last year, they had an infant boy who appears totally healthy. Like you, they've been through a lot. Things we can't relate to if we haven't gone through it.
But guess what? They ARE happily married. There were times they seemed to need to be alone in their grief, but that was incorrect. Being alone was NOT what THEY needed.
They did a lot of real work together, AND individually. I met them at a "personal growth" workshop I attended alone, and it was actually great (not weird or cult like, or containing obvious but expensively presented platitudes. Believe me, I've gone to several programs over the years, and this was a real gift. When h saw me get off the plane, h decided to go himself, and then we went together. H said he thinks it really improved our M and though that was years ago, we still do some "exercises" from that experience. Probably should go get a tune up.
All I'm saying is that our friends are truly a happily married couple, among the best marriages we know. But life has thrown them some curves. It IS harder for you than it is for those who have healthy children. I get that. My sister's h is terminally ill and that sucks for him and for her. No question, there are some lousy cards dealt to some of us. All WE can control is how WE respond.
God bless and I'll finish your posts...soon as I can. (( j- ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
