Why Can't I DB the right way??

[Starshyne]

I'm really trying to be patient and lovingly detach..But I want my husband to love ME! Not her anymore..I feel defeated at times yet I have to hold my head high..I feel like I let her win when i act this way. I want her to be the crazy one in his eyes, not me.

I totally could have written that myself. Even though my H has no contact with the OW, I know that he still has love for her. I hate that. But we must hold our head high and keep looking to improve ourselves. Crying and carrying on isn't going to do that. I was proud of myself that today when talking to H I was crying, but I wasn't sobbing uncontrollably and was able to talk to him in a calm matter and not start ranting and raving too much (I did a little, but the points I made were valid). That is a step in the right direction for me. I think you are making steps in the right direction as well water...keep working at it.

Sara