Why Can't I DB the right way??

[water2moon]

Thanks Karen, Hopefully he gives me something..I can't believe how I get..I don't recognize myself anymore..So last night H calls me to tell me that OW sent him numerous texts and then called him in his EMS truck. So you see even if he changes his cell it will make no difference, she can still call him at work. Her texts were plain crazy though and he did save them to show me this morning. She tells him she's fine and he can't hurt her anymore. then the next one she curses him out, the one after that she writes Call me NOW. So when he didn't call she called him. He says he told her that they can no longer talk and I hope he's being honest but I'm so scared that he'll go back..However i'm tired of the "What if's" I imagine all the worst case scenarios including the possibility that she'll call one day saying she's pregant( my worst nightmare)
I'm really trying to be patient and lovingly detach..But I want my husband to love ME! Not her anymore..I feel defeated at times yet I have to hold my head high..I feel like I let her win when i act this way. I want her to be the crazy one in his eyes, not me.