~SG,
It does help but it is as if I need a manual to understand him..... at least some of the time. I am working hard at being in my body..... and I think it is kind of getting him a little off kilter. I tried to initiate yesterday when he was in a "MOOD" and he was trying his best to be "DRY" as H*LL .... and then h esaid to me "oh so now it is when you want it?"

This comment sort of made me laugh * ( did not laugh out loud*)
I replied ..' actually no honey it has been always when you want it since you got home, the other nite I said are we gonna play and you said ,, no. So we went to bed and then you decided later it was yes."

This made him angry and he started to get dressed and so I said you know what honey you really like to play games...."
This further made him angry..... we argued some and he threatened me with it being over...

I called his bluff..... I said my peace for a good 2~5 minutes and the point was..." you know I am tired of you holding yourself out there like some prize that I can never really and truly have ,, waving yourself in front of me like ... here stupid little &*((^^%%%*&(*(**() look what you can have if you are a good little girrrrrlllll.... and you know what if me loving you is too much then I guess I will need to learn not to love you ..... so be it.

I then was quiet and he within 5 minutes closed the door and ML to me very passionately.... what the heck?
Can anyone translate?

I guess if you could elaborate ON~
Quote:
Ironically....even though I haven't read 'New Earth', I did read the 'power of now' which was about being in the moment....it might help you experience your h's world a little easier.


Don't expect him to see yours.


What I do get from this is you are telling me not to expect for him to feel like me.

.... and you know what it makes alot of sense.
It is going to be something .....I need to change.... I do always try to invite him in my view and never quite get his.I have gotten to where I am in the moment and the ML is fantastic and I wish it was just automatic for me like it seems to be for him....
I also made the mistake I know not to and invited him to listen to a 'New Earth' podcast.

He didnt get mad he just looked at me like I was nuts.....

oops...

So enlightenment can maybe lead me to being in my body more.. I struggle with this so much.

I am mostly in my mind and in my heart and the body comes last. Sometimes I can just be carnal.... uuugggghhhhh. Am I making this more complicated or is it really this complicated?

Ok now time to stop typing cause I feel like my mind is one big jumble of thoughts and none of them seem to be helping me make sense of anything right now..... ;\)
THanks ~SG
God bless....