I've been over in the infidelity forum for months. Been thinking about moving here for awhile. Part of me was afraid of doing it too soon. I also wasn't sure what to post.
H's A lasted for a year. Then he was in motorcycle accident with OW. Hell of a way to get busted. We're still dealing with the fallout from the accident, liability issues, DWI, etc. But the A is definitely over -- even though because of the legal issues, he still has contact with OW. But is fairly minimal and also necessary. (Read my last post from the infidelity forum for the details.)
As I look back on it, H and I seemed to reconcile fairly. I owe my thanks to the OW who did every anti-DB trick in the book. She pursued, she threatened, gave ultimatums, got angry, etc. I just sort of sat back and watched their R die. The fantasy is long over for him. I'm bad because it makes me smile ... in one talk not too long after the A wax exposed, he told me that he was so sure that they would be ok together.
While all that was going on, I worked on myself and the problems I had that contributed to our dysfunctional M. My number one problem was sex. I've gotten beyond that. His A was like a 9-11 wake-up call for me. I got into counseling and read tons about infidelity and rekindling your sex drive.
I've read that most reconciliation between couples takes months, but sometimes you're lucky ... it seems I made the lucky list. When OW began showing her true colors, H came right back to me. But now what? I'm afraid we have missed something, some important part of piecing or reconciliation. I want to make sure we rebuild so that we're stronger and better than ever as there is NO WAY I'm going through the pain and anger of infidelity again! We need to have more R talks, I know. What else do we need to do?
Not sure what anyone can reply to me, but I really wanted to take the leap and move on over. I've made so many friends over in infidelity, too, and I tend to stay where I'm most comfortable.
