You sound great! I agree with all that's been said. Especially that your confusion is the conflict between your H's lame agenda and your life. I too say that you wanting to move on wouldn't make this your fault at all. Your family knows this.. your H's family knows, your friends, and unfortunately, D4 would realize it too someday. He can say what he wants, but his actions tell the real story to everyone that's looking in.
You are right where I was the second time J and I separated. I'm happy that you're moving into a position of strength for yourself and D4. This is going to change your life forever if you embrace it. I promise.. you keep realizing what you need and deserve and start accepting not less than that and you'll never enable H's (or anyone elses!) problems to take over your life. J said after we reconciled that I needed to take the wall down. What he was experiencing was "Sheila with boundaries". We've moved past that and onto a better R built on respect and love. It's nice to know that I don't need anyone to be a whole happy person. It sounds like you're discovering that too. Yes, it can be lonely, but even feeling genuinely lonely and accepting that is better than feeling needy and clingy for someone who hurts us so much.
Hope you've had a good weekend Don't you ever feel guilty for moving towards strenght and health in your life. You deserve so, so much more than just a healthy existence. No guilt for having enough of his crap...k?
Don't you ever feel guilty for moving towards strenght and health in your life. You deserve so, so much more than just a healthy existence. No guilt for having enough of his crap...k? 
