A, They all distance themselves from friends and family during the crisis. It's interesting to see that he's not be around his friend for two years.
As for being dimmer than usual, it's your call. However, I do find it very interesting that a man who wants a divorce and sell a home is spending a lot of time at his house and with his family. The phone calls at all hours will have to stop if you split up unless you want that contact. I don't think he realizes that things will be very different once the house sells and/or you split up permanently. I suspect he thinks that you will always be there for him no matter what he's done. A, something to think about--if you happen to split up permanently, are you going to continue to allow him to disrupt your sleep at night and drop in whenever he wants?
I do think he enjoys seeing his children, but I also think he uses your daughter as an excuse to come over. He wants you to act as if nothing is wrong w/his behavior and he would dearly love to see life back to the way it use to be. His actions tells a different story than his words do. This is what makes the crisis so crazy for all of us. Unfortunately, we don't know how any of our stories will end until the crisis is over for our spouses.
All you can do is live your life to the fullest and if that means being nice to him, and yet distance yourself, then you'll have to do it. Maybe it's time for you to sit him down and just tell him how you feel about all of this. Have you tried this? Sometimes doing a 180, trying something different, will help them to move along a bit. I know you are tired of the limbo and when that happens, you get down.
I do hope that you and your children are doing some fun things together. Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
