Changing myself for myself

[Firekeeper]

i posted briefly on "piecing forum" and i am coming back here. there is no piecing in sight at this point.

i have not spoken with h for 5 days or so. he is away and he is coming back at the end of the mo. he called yesterday night. i was too tired and i didn't pickup. he didn't leave a message and he didn't call back today.

In our last conversation he said that he still calls ow. she tells him that it is not working out with her previous boyfriend (sexually, etc.). it kinda did it for me. he has not changed. he doesn't want to be with me, altho he would say that he still have the feelings for me. but then he would usually say that he doesn't see a future for us. he firmly believes that he needs to live for sometime w/ow before he can decide that their r will not work. and she decided to dump him and go back to her bf of 5 y with which she has been engaged before she got involved with h. so he thinks that it was a mistake that she went back and, i guess, he is waiting for her.

i am at a point that i do not want to hear him. do not want to answer his questions. when he calls he wants to have a lighthearted conversation about this that, kids, etc. as if we are friends. i am tired of it. i am not his friend. i do not want to have a friend who can betray.

me, h - 40+
m-20+
s, d, ss - 20+
s, ow, pa - 04.2007
h back and forth beginning 2008