1) How did you answer her when she asked what your friends thought of her? I hope you would say "They think you're making a foolish decision," or "They feel bad for my pain," or "They don't know the details of our issues, but they ARE wondering why you wouldn't be willing to try to work on the marriage."
I told her they didn't understand and were supportive of me. I haven't mentioned A except to close friends & family, so have been telling people she just wants to focus on her career and doesn't want to deal with a M/R.
Quote:
2) I told my wife that "I have no intentions of being best friends with you if you end our marriage this way." I don't know how one can keep their own personal integrity and remain friends with someone who ended their marriage by adultery.
I agree and I've told her this before - that friendship is as much a R as M; that when someone consistently treats me in a disrespectful fashion, or cruelly, there is no friendship; that since she'd been doing this, any kind of a friendship would have to be something new that developed farther down the road, but the effort would have to be hers since I've been bending over backwards to keep things pleasant yet have little to show for it.
At that time, she didn't say much, just acknowledged that she wasn't being very nice.
I think what's getting to her is when I stop paying attention to her. For the last month, since she chose OM and asked for D, we've had extremely minimal contact (though still more than others on the board experience). This past week I ran into her on a run and rather than join her, which is what I usually would do, I said good morning and kept going. So for those types of interactions to occur and then for her to get the chance to talk with me and enjoy the conversation makes me think she's missing things and wants to try and continue it by cake-eating. Which I will no longer allow.
So. There was no real reason to respond to her email other than to be polite. I could respond by just saying "thanks" or I could not respond at all, or I could respond with a "Just the facts" email re: other issues that need to be dealt with. The latter is what I was planning on doing.
