I'm trying to figure out how to create happiness today. Yesterday was fine, but not super happy. I attended my art class and enjoyed that part of the day. My H usually shoots archery on Saturday with OW. I was really hoping he would shoot yesterday. It was kind of a "test" for me because I knew OW wouldn't be shooting since she had other plans, but if he still went without her being there it would show me that he enjoys the shooting and not just her company. Anyway, he stayed home. My test failed and it hurts. I really don't know what I want right now. I'm dedicated to doing what I can to save my marriage because that's what I promised to do, but it's not very fun. We've been suffering in silence since December and my life is slipping away... my love for H is dwindling with each passing day. On the bright side, my love for me is expanding and I think I'm super AMAZING.
I think I'll take my best friend (my dog) down to the river today for a hike. That will certainly create some happiness.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
