Why then would she always throw up things from last year or things I did a year ago.. Know using them as a weapon against me and her justiciable for leaving ..
You nailed it. She is justifying her behavior. Sure, every relationship has it's problems, but it's rarely the fault of one person. Deep down, she probably has some guilt (but may not admit it even to herself) so she demonizes YOU -- it's all your fault. Many times a WAS rewrites history. What you remember as a not so bad R, was never any good to them. We know that's not true. But they have to do it so they can live with themselves. We call this alien spew around here.
Don't listen to it. And if you find yourself doing it, too, ask yourself if it really makes you feel better? I think it only makes you bitter. On the other hand, forgiving yourself for your mistakes, and forgiving the WAS, helps you heal and move on. In the end, you're a stronger person. But it does take time.
