SDog, I was glad to see you on WAS32's thread b/c I hadn't heard from you in a while. How are things by now? I gathered by your post to WAS32 that you are still stuggling. But the positive side in your stitch is that you are seeing some good days from your W. Plus, if she is still home, that gives time on your side. Just keep applying DB techniques and I believe they will work. I know her mood swings are hard on you, but she is trying to heal over hurt and resentment. I heard on a tape the other day that women have a hard time forgiving and forgetting resentment.....even after they think they have forgiven their H's, that old resentment still tries to hang on. I'm sure her devastation is taking a long time to heal. But, if she goes to church like you and prays like you....then the M has a very good Rock to stand on. Don't give up on her.....give her time. Yes, she needs space and that is hard for you to try to show her how much you love her without smothering her, but with the help of the DR book and prayer......I think in time it will work out.
I was guilty of doing the very same thing as you. Could not believe myself! What was I thinking? Who was I anymore? All of that stuff. My H looks like he has aged ten years during this past year and I know I did it to him. I have to live with that. I still have issues with resentment also, even though I should be doing everything in my power to show him how much I love him, it is hard......long story. But, we both have the Rock and that is what we depend on to get us through this. We are okay. It could be better, but it is much, much better than a year ago. He has shown his agravation toward me only once, and that was b/c he was sick, and then he apologized for it.....which in the past he never did. He has not raised his voice to me nor have we been in an argument, so I feel we have come a long way. It takes so much time to get through all that mess. I don't know of another couple that had as much trust in each other as we did....and I messed that up big time. I may pay for that for a long time.
God bless. Let me hear from you. I am over in Piecing forum now.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
