W has some issues with social anxiety and tends to get stressed out in such situations. Her fuse with me (and our son) is quite short in such situations. Well, she got frustrated and took it out on me in the store a bit.
Does you wife take medication for social anxiety? There are AD meds for that if it is serious.....and it sounds like it is.
I am curious about something. Are one of you a perfectionist or maybe both of you, b/c you both talk about your systems.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!