I'm going to make sure your court date is entered in our special intentions at school tomorrow. I'll be praying for you and for the system to help get it right.
As for my sitch, I am glad W is going back to counseling, but I'm pretty sure she's looking for more justification instead of for some real work. However, if she sticks with counseling long enough, she may have a shot at an eventual break-through. Thus, her going gives me some hope, but I'm not sure where I'll be when/if she does "break-through."
On the advice, I really do appreciate it and I will do as you are suggesting and try to pay it forward in the future. Thanks.
RTL, I am so glad to hear your W is going to see a C. It is a start. Before the final divorce there are so many issues she should face. She can't have any more children and she will never have the joy of sharing her D with her father. She so needs to face what she will miss, not having you there when your D goes to her first prom, when she learns to drive, gets married etc. Nothing can replace that feeling between parents. Your W needs to face this now and make sure it is what she wants. I am in a difficult sitch in my M. For almost 2 years my H has been addicted to Second World. I asked him to leave for a bit but he is back and still at it. I am trying hard not to throw him out and file but I don't know how much more I can take. My middle daughter is about to get engaged and it keeps me trying. I couldn't bear us not being together and enjoying watching our daughter get married. Our oldest got married last summer, and the problems were starting to escalate, yet the event would not have been happy if my H and I could not have shared our pride in our daughter. These are all things she should face before finalizing the divorce. Four year olds do become teenagers very quickly.
I can only hope she's going back to C to work through things completely, but I'm not incredibly confident. I do have some slight hope b/c she is going back to C, but really, I'm feeling she's going back to get affirmation rather than work on her.
However, she'll be in an office w/ a C, so there is always a chance at her breaking through and working on her. If she can continue to go to C, then we may have something.
I've started a new thread as this one is on the verge of locking up. My new thread link is below. See you there.
You can not worry about that at this time. She is on her own schedule, as are you. Hope for the best because I am sure you want her to be happy and as the mother of your children, she is still very much in their life.
It is amazing how much I can draw off of my own experiences with your case. Yesterday was the first day of the temporary court order which my STBX, got a dose of reality. She again tried to take our son and I told her no, Thursdays were my days. Of course she went ballistic and called me every name under in the book but eventually, she let me take him.
I honestly was very surprised since we do not have documentation from the court order so I would really have no legal backing. Chnage is gong to be tough for both of you but again I can not stress the importance of taking care of you and your D. Those should be your only priorities right now...
Me=29 WAW=25 S=2 "I need a break" = 6/07 Filed = 12/07
Gosh, I cant believe that text message she sent you! Such a terrible accusation and anyway, you are her Ds father, why does she WANT you to mess up and make things "easy for her", doesnt she want her D to have a good R with her father and lots of parenting time??? Can she honestly believe it wouldnt be in her D interest to have a solod R with you? Why is she so gleeful that you may be messing things up? Its insane. Wonder if it harks back to her own R with her father..I'm still wondering about what her R with him was like, cos she has that Saturn directly conjunct her Sun stuff and thats heavy. Oppressive, restrictive, tough to live up to, lots of things, but not fun!
I think you are being very strong. Especially when you said you and your T were talking about the fact that of course you will get over this... I was amazed, especially after such a traumatic breakup that you are already resilient enough to voice that. I am still not hopeful I will ever get over my BF! Silly I know, but I still feel so trapped in my old life and wishing I could get it back.
Sounds like you are handling things really well and well done for the exercising! You put me to shame.
Ali __________________ Me: 37 BF: 34 T: 9 years IDLYA: 2 Nov 07 Own flat: 26 Jan 08 Depression confirmed: 4 Mar
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
