I just wanted to add that in your mind sex has become something you have to do or there is a consequence. That is alot of pressure for anyone. You need to bring sex back to a fun playful act but she has to be a willing participant. I think you could resolve your sexual issues if she is willing. Being a woman myself, I personally would not leave my husband if the only issue was no sex. If he treated me like a queen in all other aspects of our life together and was a great communicator and was someone I can trust no matter what, You know a really good life partner, then I would not leave. So since she is trying to not stick around then why don't you try this. Ask her out on dates. Tell her that for a set time agreed upon amount of time the two of you will just date eachother without the stress of discussing the sexual issues. You need this time to just enjoy eachother emotionally before you can enjoy eachother physically. BUT give her some space for a while before you start asking her out on dates. Don't call for atleast a couple of weeks then ask her out and Wine and dine her. Take her to places that are fun for both of you and sometimes just fun for her. This will help you guys bond. Maybe take a cruise together. Atleast then you know both of you will have to be on that ship together for a certain number of days. It sounds like before you tackle the sexual issues you need to build a stronger bond with her that includes fun and lots of good times and memories together. When you do see her compliment her on her physical appearance. Just little things like I love the way your skin glows in this lighting or how beautiful her eyes are. Stuff like that. She may just be at the end of her rope feeling unattractive and for a woman it is very very painful when your husband is looking at porn and masturbating instead of being with his wife. Women see it as "Why am I, flesh and blood woman, less appealing than a video?" You really need to lay off the porn. It can be very hurtful to a wife. It leaves emotional scars that last forever. You just have no idea. Then maybe you can start to work on the sexual issues. Also, you could consider practicing just pleasuring her without having actual intercourse.
