#3 Did I find DB too late? Maybe not...

[cw68]

Holy Moly. I just found out my niece is pregnant!! It's not exactly a congratulations thing. She's 22, can't hold a job, gets drunk all the time and isn't married. Apparently this was planned and the boyfriend she's living with is very excited. My sister and bro-in-law don't know yet. I'm freaking out.

On this front, H and I had a very good talk on the phone. I told him the Dobson thing, for one. But he actually opened up some and it was amazing. He sat there and told me that it's apparent that I've got my sh*t together a lot more than him. I'm the one who's becoming a better person, I'm the one who's really got it going on and he's just completely confused.

After months of telling me that he never wanted to get married, that he never really loved me with all his heart, etc. he finally said that he did really, really love me and that he was a big boy who made all these decisions that he has to live with.

I had a great session of dbing and was given a lot of opportunity to validate, respond honestly and I think I earned a little bit of his trust back too. He said that he doesn't want to spend time alone with me because he doesn't want it to muck things up, that he doesn't want to confuse me and make me think that things are going to change just because of it. Here was a great chance to show him the "new" me. I told him that I understood but wanted him to know that I wouldn't read too much into it. If he just wants to go out and have coffee with me, I'll take it as him just wanting to go out and have coffee with me.

Along the Dobson line, I told him that I wasn't giving up, that I still didn't want a divorce, that I still thought we have what it takes to make a good and lasting union but that if he wanted to walk, I wasn't going to stand in his way. He's not walking.

A lot of other things were said, but I'm still too stunned by my niece's news to go into more detail.

At the end of the conversation, he said that he felt much better, that it was a really good conversation and asked if we were still meeting at the club at 9am in the morning. Yep. All my great intentions of making a clean cut went to the wayside, however, because five minutes later I had to call him to ask to bring my gym shoes to the club. Then 45 minutes later I just HAD to call him to tell him the news about my niece.

I'm going to bed in a happy mood, a little shocked and definitely a lot better than I thought I'd be just two hours ago.

nite nite y'all