So today I was working on an interest free student loan application that I applied for last year. I was going through old emails trying to find some old documents to recycle for my application and I ran across this old email from my Dad that I had totally forgotten about, from almost exactly a year ago.
My B met a musical colleague of my Dad (who is also a musician) at a performance, and B told the colleague, "I think the world of T, she is so great!!!!" and basically glowed with love. And colleague told my Dad, who emailed me about it. I could cry. Intellectually, I understand how we got to this place, but in my heart, part of me still does not understand... how did we go from him having that kind of gut reaction of enthusiasm about me towards a total stranger (Dad's colleage) to where we are now???
Then I came across some other emails and realized that this time last year was the same time when B came to visit me for a week. This was when he told me he was sad that he couldn't have the sexual experiences he wanted with me, and asked me to go with him to couples counseling. And I got really mad and said, "I'm not ready to do those things with you, you just need to DEAL WITH IT" and then he immediately got sick... and remembering this today I thought, How could I have been SO F-in Retarded? Talk about NFC, I could be the POSTERGIRL.
I'm sorry I haven't posted to everyone yet today, I will do that soon, I promise!!!!
