WAW...now the LBS Part 2

[HOPEFULinCALI]

What was your coach's advice...anything worth sharing?

Christa,

I would be happy to share. Some oldies and some goodies.
1. Be consistent. Sounds easy enough, right? Not so much for me. I thought I was being consistent, but as my coach kindly pointed out I am not. For various reasons, such as being stressed over the sitch and H not initiating more contact, I sometimes back off. Regardless of my H's actions I should be consistent in mine b/c I am playing catch up and I should not expect ANYTHING from him at this point. I need to show him that I am not falling into old patterns and that he can count on me to be there for him and be committed. By H calling me this past week and saying that he was worried about me........he was saying to me that he was feeling neglected.
a. My goal is to consistently show interest in the FRIENDSHIP even if it means that I make it a point to call every Wednesday and Friday.
b. Be consistently APPROACHABLE.

2. Oldie. Ask him to go out on the spur of the moment and if he doesn't want to go then go anyway.

3. When he stops showing interest in a conversation or in my company end the conversation or the visit.

4. Change my reactions and expectations. This is HUGE for me. I am confident that this is the key to overcoming the issues that have been making both my H and me unhappy and that I am working on in therapy. After more than a year with my therapist I found a new solution-based therapist of whom I hope that I can finally make some permanent changes with. My issues include trying to control, being negative, being judgemental, reacting to people and sitch's with frustion and a bit of anger and stress. If I can change my reaction to people and sitch's and realize that I can only control myself I will be well on my way.

Also look up the "last lecture" by Randy Pausch