#3 Did I find DB too late? Maybe not...

[cw68]

No time alone together. My son didn't want to do the event at our club. He's only 5 and he had a b-day party this morning, H took kids to the club to swim, then he had a t-ball game, the last thing he wanted to do was go to a party. H asked me over for dinner instead and I told him that I was really just looking forward to some time along, to the dynamic changing and not the same old thing. So he asked me if I'd be interested in going to a local taqueria for margaritas with S5 while D6 was at the event at the club. I said sure.

I drop D off and phone rings on the way home, it's H. "Why don't we just sit outside in the yard? I'd rather do that then spend $30 on a dinner that's not even good." Um, OK, is there food at the house? Guess who ended up making most of dinner? Yep, me. We sat outside together for a whole five minutes. Then dinner was over, he goes and gets D6 from the event early, leaving D5 with me because he didn't want to go. H's gone forever, calls and says that she didn't want to leave yet and he'd be home when she came out. Makes me feel that I'm just there to help him out so that he didn't have to face D5 having to do something he didn't want to do.

He comes home, asks the kids if they wanted to go play in front for a bit. Says, "Mom can sit by herself on the front porch and read." (Thanks.) I think that maybe we can all play a yard game together and I come out to H getting everything ready, "So that the kids and I can wash my car."

I was done. I'm really upset right now. He has me around when it's easy.

We just spoke briefly, he doesn't want to spend any time alone with me. His words.

I'm letting him go. This is just too hard. Right when I think things are getting a little better, he tells me that they are exactly the same. He's getting a Dobson letter.

I'm not completely done trying to repair my marriage, but he can go if he really wants to.

This is just too much. Too tiring. Too hard on me. I feel worthless.