I don't think I have commented on your thread before but I have been reading along. When my children heard about their dad's A, my second eldest D contacted the OW by phone. Unknown to either myself or my H. It really threw OW to hear what my D thought and was a big part in getting her to agree to back off. Having a 13year old crying down the phone does sometimes prick a conscience. It sure made more of an impact than I did.
My H was also VERY shocked by what the children thought of what he had done and it made a difference to him. having said that, I was very clear that I did not want my H staying JUST because of the children.
BTW, I have to say I agree with puppy about your W - the way your thread reads it looks like your W is doing the minimum to keep you where it suits her best. Please watch out.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
