Man, I just hate this. I'm dealing okay with it, but I hate it.
W just left. She had come over to finalize property division. Both of us were pretty easy-going about things. As we discussed who gets what, she kept starting to tear up, so I'd change the conversation to something light.
Well, since we were both so easy-going, the actual division was pretty darn easy. She said she'd help me move unless I didn't want her to, but I replied that I was just hiring someone to make it easier and she agreed that was a better idea. We called and separated our cell phone and she asked about splitting the joint account, but since we haven't figured out furniture costs and how much she owes me, that would have just entailed me being taken off the joint account. That didn't seem like a good idea, so I came up with an excuse, saying I was hoping to set up a high interest account at the same time and why not just wait to do it all at once.
Anyway, she then sat around and chatted for 3 hours. Asked what I was working on, doing, etc. I responded with my new interests, involvements, etc. We had a great conversation, as usual. Towards the end she got quiet and said on the way back from her trip she felt really down and didn't feel like a good person. I wasn't sure how to take that, so just fell back on validating and said she shouldn't be down on herself and she was a good person. Not true, of course - she's abandoning her M for OM, but I couldn't bring myself to say that. There was silence so I moved the conversation away to non-R talk.
I then said I had some stuff to do. Since I'm taking the cats, she asked if I'd help her get some for herself. Then she started to leave. I said goodbye, there was probably the possibility for attempting a hug, but I think it's a huge 180 for me not to give them and for her to miss them.
So there it is. It didn't sound like she'd thought that much about D papers, much less even buying the house! Said she should call her dad, who's cosigning.
It seems like she's questioning and dragging her feet big time, but then she acts so firm about not being together. I don't know.
confused why we can't make this work but still resigned to moving on, lodo.
