Thanks for the timely reminder guys, W has pulled back big time, says it's nothing to do with us, but shes said nothing else. I'm not going to dwell on it though. Funny thing though last week and maybe last month W said I like your changes I hope your making them for yourself and not for me. Yes they are for myself.
Anyway, I'm still in training for my 10k run, thats hard work, I've also been chatting with work colleagues on how best to raise sponsorship money, I am trying to raise as much money possible for a Charity that researches into the causes of premature births, a cause close to my heart.
At the end of the month I've got my minor op to remove a facial wart, it's no big deal to anyone but me. I used to be conscious of it but not anymore, but I thought I'd get rid of it rather than getting my ear pierced.
I'm gonna catch up with my brother, he knows nothing of my sitch, not gonna tell him anything though. While all of this has been going on he's started seeing a new girlfriend so the pair of them haven't seen much daylight recently. I think I'd like to meet the girl that's taking up all his time.
Trying to GAL and get out but W wants to be with me all the time. W and I are going out at the end of the month with BIL and SIL, W has been avoiding them since all of this broke, more so cos she told them that I had walked out on her last September and she also told SIL that I had been accusing her of having OM on the side but it was totally untrue. Well BIL and SIL know the fully story, so on this night out I’ll have to be as supportive as ever to W. Actually it was W's idea to go out with them so maybe she just wants to get it over and done with. W and I have got another night out planned to go to the comedy store, and this weekend W and I are going to spend all of Saturday together while we leave D6 with friends. Funny though, she had been avoided me for so long but now I can't seem to get rid of her. lol
Lanzo
PS It's 12 months since I got the ILYBNILWY speech, what a rollercoster its been since then.
"Trying to GAL and get out but W wants to be with me all the time."
Is this good? ... Or bad?
"Funny though, she had been avoided me for so long but now I can't seem to get rid of her."
Same question as above...
"Actually it was W's idea to go out with them so maybe she just wants to get it over and done with."
I see you asking Why..
"W and I have got another night out planned to go to the comedy store, and this weekend W and I are going to spend all of Saturday together while we leave D6 with friends."
Is this good or bad?
"Come on Forrest, even W got the humour in that. No I'm not going to write it down."
I thought you should have.. I can so totally see a note, taped to the door, explaining what she should do. Some candles lit to set the mood. Her coming into the bedroom... seeing you laying under the covers "naked"... You looking up at her.... And saying.. You ready for your massage now???
What she failed to notice was it was all about her... You showing her how much you care. You had shorts on and were letting your leg hang out.. to give the "impression".
If you want "freaky girl" you are going to have to work for it. Don't stop reaching for it. You can have that. What do you need to do?
You know me.. Do something different.
Take the simple stuff and "spin" it.
Now did you really think I thought for a moment you were gonna write it down?
Don't you wish you had....
Just cause I have gotten soft does not mean I can't see it..
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
"Trying to GAL and get out but W wants to be with me all the time."
"W and I have got another night out planned to go to the comedy store, and this weekend W and I are going to spend all of Saturday together while we leave D6 with friends."
This is all good, I know, I'm not complaining, in fact W said this was somthing that went missing from the M, so I guess we are catching up with each other.
Originally Posted By: Forrest Gump
If you want "freaky girl" you are going to have to work for it. Don't stop reaching for it. You can have that. What do you need to do?
You know me.. Do something different.
Yep, I'm still reaching, I'm working on some different things, its funny how you could see this "Freaky girl" from Cyberspace and I'm right next to her and couldn't . Hmmm.. now theres a question where I can ask why.
....and this weekend W and I are going to spend all of Saturday together while we leave D6 with friends."
Today we left D6 off with friends and W and I went into town shopping, W had a number of different things to look at, but what it all boiled down to was her looking for outfits for her and D6. After a couple of hours we took a break in shopping and had a coffee at Starbucks, we chatted for a while and then I said to W, this is something that has been missing from our R, spending time like this together. W agreed and said it cost nothing to come into town and wander round the shops together. Hmmm...Starbuck cost nothing not to mention the couple of dresses you were dropping heavy hints about. (Ok, I'll process this one).
After this short interlude we hit the shops again and when we were ready to drop we decided to stay in town and eat Italian. We ordered a nice meal and just chatted in general. Now W and I don't really do R talk but today I thought what the hell. I asked W if she was certain in the direction she was taking with the R between us, her reply was "Absolutely". So I said to her, that would indicate she was happy with they way things were going, she said "Most definitely". Then W said to me if I was a "Happy Bunny", I told her I was working towards it. She asked what I meant by this. I said I was working towards the two of us being happy together, and when we get there nothing else will really matter. Not sure how she took this but it left her thinking. I also added that we had to get back to loving, understanding and appreciating each other and W agreed with this too.
Now most men will agree that we don't do shopping very well, W knows this and she thanked me for the time we spent together. To be honest we had a good time, and despite all the time in the shops W didn't spend too much money and she just appreciated me being around her(and paying for dinner). I know her primary LL is "Quality Time" so I have to make more times like this available to her. And despite my interruptions with a little R talk a good time was had by all.
Lan, I know how tiring and trying on the patience this sort of shopping is. And of course the logic is that buying a lot of stuff "on sale" is "saving" you a lot. And she "needs" this and "feels" that. Anyway you are a loving H and she's been slowly processing that. At some point she will have to start supporting you in your needs and feelings.
Me-48, W-38 M14, D11, S7 W filed D 01/07 W had to move out 06/07 Current Thread
Previously in our M I became distant, moody, miserable etc because of the lack of extra money. I work hard and make reasonable money, but it just about covers all of our bills but with no extra cash left for spending on us. What I am seeing now is although W had said things like, "We've got no money but we're doing ok" or "Lan, I didn't marry you for your money" having that extra money and having a good time is very important to W. Another of her classic quotes which backs this up was, "Just because we have a mortgage and bills to pay doesn't mean we stop living".
Don't get me wrong, I didn't overspend this weekend, even though W was dropping heavy hints about dresses and oufits, but now as she starts to book up our social calendar, I can see the $$$$ going out the window. So when I commented before on your thread about being tight a**ed with money and being a miserable f**ker, I was talking from experience, that was me too. but splashing some cash seems to be having a positive effect for me.
It's all a balancing act now with the finances, as well as keeping a roof over our heads I have to make sure we have enough so we all can have a good time.
FG
Originally Posted By: Forrest Gump
If you want "freaky girl" you are going to have to work for it.
Yes, it required a Forty five minute foot massage (boy were my fingers tired), this time the girl was hot but not so freaky.
"Yes, it required a Forty five minute foot massage (boy were my fingers tired), this time the girl was hot but not so freaky."
Seems like a fair trade to me.
Seems like you had a good weekend. This is the interesting time where you are. Its fun, confusing, draining, exciting, it just has Emotion all over it.
I think you are doing great and building on something that may last. My hats off to you Lan. And Sandi2 also.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
Lan, For me the Job/Financial instability caused us a LOT of stress . So after I found some work I tried to save more and eliminated ALL debt, including the mortgage - maybe I went too far or she did not see the wisdom in it. I think we spent more than enough to live quite well on, but postponed big ticket items, even tho' W wanted to do things like renovate the kitchen, etc when there was not much income. We always had joint accounts, tho' W from time to time wanted her separate account whenever I questioned unnecessary spending. W always believed and insisted that taking out a loan would save us in taxes and I could never get her to understand otherwise! So that's where the "tight a**ed with money and being a miserable f**ker" fits in my book and I think W has a point.
I don't know how this sort of thing can be solved, esp if there's a big disparity in incomes or spending habits or risk taking. Marriage Builders recommends joint accounts with $50 a week in cash unquestioned - see http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5023_qa.html.
I had lunch with my bank manager after I re-mortgaged the house to pay off W. He says that he and his wife have separate accounts and each pays some designated bills and each sets aside some designated amounts for savings, retirement, vacation, etc. The mortgage is divided proportionate to their incomes. Seems complicated to me.
I don't know if I'd ever have to revisit this unless W decides to come back. But clearly money was a BIG bone of contention for her/us and she wanted much more control of it. But I'd like to know what you think?
Me-48, W-38 M14, D11, S7 W filed D 01/07 W had to move out 06/07 Current Thread
FG, You have a lot of friends here, not just Lan. Some of us are a bit "crazy" and we can't keep up with your advanced tools and methods but we sure do appreciate the time and effort you take and make for us.
I don't believe there are many posters here that actually post only to others to help them out. So, since you decided to do that, you have to continue until your "open cases" either sign for divorce and give up or invite you to a party just as promised to Lan.
How can I show my alien friend I want him around all the time during (and after) my "crazy" time?
K
Lan, sorry, I am sure he is reading your thread before he reads mine.
