But my point is, most of the time an affair has nothing to do with a spouse's imperfections (although ANY excuse for one occuring will be sought out by the offending spouse). Sure, there are marriages with problems which make them more vulnerable to affairs. But there are perfectly good marriages, with great spouses, where affairs occur....
Basically, affairs are a problem with boundries. Someone not keeping firm boundries and allowing the boundry to be crossed. Sometimes this occurs slowly over time, (oftentimes friendship, support of some nature, mutual attraction, being together through work, neighborhood, class, hobby, etc...), and other times it might happen quickly.
One description I read that was kind of interesting.... imagine someone standing in the middle of a frying pan while the heat slowly builds up. It seems safe for awhile, one barely even realizes or notices the temperature building. But eventually without realizing it, the pan is on fire. And the person wonders, how did this happen?
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
