Hi Puppy Dog Tails - What should my next step be.. Allow (OM) and G/F to pick up the rest of her things here Sunday??
Go dark with her??
I believe I ruined this (R) ?? Any suggestions .. Or Just move on ..Learn from mistakes and quit?
I want to tell (OM) wife so bad...
What is next move recommended??
I'm not Puppy but my advice would be: yes, let her pick up her stuff if that's what she wants. I'd be friendly, but no pursuing, begging, pleading, or anything doormat-related.
Re: going dark--I would say that's a good idea if that's a 180 from how you have been acting with GF. If you've been chasing, begging, pleading or anything like that. DR says if what you are doing isn't working, try the opposite & that makes sense to me.
You did not ruin this relationship, you may need to work on some issues as no one is perfect!, but your GF is the one that sounds like she is ruining your relationship with the OM. I have really had to work hard on this myself, not blaming myself but I have realized that is pointless and probably not true!!!
I don't think you have to move on and/or quit if you love your GF. You said the OM is married so doesn't sound like OM is the perfect guy to me!!! What I would recommend you may want to do is just working on yourself instead of focusing too much on your GF. Work on any issues that caused problems in your R and that you feel you need to work on. For example, in my case, I was a doormat, very dependent on my H, and depressed. I have been working on all these issues: doing good on the last 2 and still working on the first but I've improved!!! Working on being stronger, more independent, and happier (I see a C and take AD's) has really improved my PMA, confidence, and now I feel like if H decides to divorce me for OW then it will be his loss! I will be able to have a more positive, healthier relationship b/c of the changes I have made myself, whether with my H or not, and that is probably the most important thing to me.
Work on GAL: I joined a new church and am trying to fit in some of the church activities, I'm doing a play and that takes a lot of time, and I exercise a lot as I think exercise is really good for your confidence and PMA. But whatever hobbies you would enjoy and would give you confidence I think are good.
I know there are several on this board that will probably suggest telling OM's wife is a good idea, but I think if he is texting, calling, and spending as much time with your GF as you say she probably already knows (but OM's wife may blame you if you get involved)!!! I think GF & OM's relationship is most likely doomed anyway. Karen
