ok guys, I did 2 very empowering things today. per nikb's advice, this morning before he came home after being with ow, I took ALL my clothes, toiletries, books, everything from the master bedroom and put them all away neatly in the guest room, now my new room. I also took photos of our daughter and a photo of my grandmother and hung them up.
When h got home, I happened to be in the bathroom, right next to bathroom, and he was like" where's all your stuff??" he started laughing but I could tell it really through him for a loop.
THEN, I went to my lawyers office and had a two hour meeting. We went over EVERYTHING, how much money h makes, his 401, pension, our household expenses, the works. I am actually in a very good position here. I can't get into the legalize of it, but suffice it to say, all the threats and CRAP that h told me about money, his responsibilities, etc. are LIES!!! My lawyer AND his 2 partners have been practicing in new york for over 40 years and basically their advice was don't listen to ANYTHING h is saying because he does NOT know what he is talking about.
The bottom line is I have TIME. h was making me feel this week like I had to sign papers and get on with this, blah, blah, blah. Well, the truth is, I have time and I don't have to do anything right now and there is nothing h can do about it. He can serve as many papers as he wants and since this is a fault state, he doesn't have a "fault" to get me on. Now this isn't to say iwant to hold him hostage, but at least I know I have TIME to figure out the rest of my life, both financially and emotionally.
Guys, I"m pretty new here, but for the real beginners, my best advice, I swear to god, is to talk to a lawyer. BEST thing I have done. I have him on retainer so now I feel protected. I can take as long as I need.
