Just stopping by. Okay take a moment to relax and breathe. I didn't read all of your post but from this last one you seem to be extremely worried about what's happening with your H. One thing that I learned through this DBing stuff is that regardless of what is happening outside you can't do anything and you may never really no so try not to waste your energy on it. Use that energy to ensure the time you do spend together is positive and loving. That negative energy will just eat you up and cause you to react in a way perhaps for no reason. Give him the benefit of the doubt. He is coming home to you so make that a wonderful experience so he thinks twice about looking for anything else outside. I know the thought of him being with someone else and you not knowing may be eating you up inside but if you put it in perspective that same energy and thought process you may have, may send him directly into the arms of another unintentionally. Sometimes the very thing that we want to avoid we focus so much energy on that it becomes a reality as everything that we do takes us in that direction. Now is the time for you to change the path. Set your goal and with every action ask yourself is this helping me to achieve my goal. If the answer is no than change the behaviour. This is my new philosophy. Hope this helps. You can do it just breathe and envision the way you want things to be and do what you can to take you there. All the best. Dee
