Hi, It's me again. Panic city. I know I have to quit doing that. I just talked to my H to see when h thought h might be home. H was very angry because a message that our youngest s(4) left him back in Oct. (that h has saved all this time) somehow got erased, I get the bad feeling that h somehow thinks that I had something to do w it. I didn't wouldn't dare try to use h cell phone (maybe if I thought I wouldn't get caught) but that would not be my luck. You need a passcode to even get into it (which I do know what it is NOW) due to the fact that H was having trouble w voicemail a couple of weekends ago & was busy at work so I had to call & get it taken care of h gave me the passcode in case I needed it. When we went out last week I had to use h phone & asked h if h had changed it h said no why? I just thought h would because h wouldn't want me to know it. Now I'm afraid it has come to haunt me! H also said h was going to be really late because h had to close & the dishwashers were fooling around to much. So of course I'm in a panic over that. Is it true & so on. You know the drill. I don't know what to do because I have been having these feelings of I don't know if I can do this, I feel like I'm loosing my mind. ILH dearly w all my heart & things have been fine, I just have all these what ifs & can't believe h did what h did, & will it happen again & of course it'll be my fault (like before) & I'm just so tired of feeling like ok did I do the things I am making h happy did I tick h off today, did I show h ILH without actually saying (although I do teel h just not as much as I used to) HELP!!! Why am I having these feelings? I can't change the way my heart feels, but I am so afraid of my heart being broken again. Can anyone tell me if those feelings ever go away or am I going to have to live w them for the rest of my life? I'm sorry if I put a damper in your night I just had to let it out alittle. Is everything still ok w you? ~~K~~
