I hear what you're saying Pup. And I agree I compromised on some of my conditions. But she agreed to get rid of the affair stuff, is considering reading the books and while I compromised on the no contact letter, she claims she told him on Monday that she couldn't talk to him anymore. Is she lying? I'll never know right now.
I told DS16 that I had decided I was going to give her the benefit of the doubt and give our marriage a try, but if there is any contact at all I will file for divorce immediately. He told me that he's already told her if she's messing with them or him he will never talk to her again. Does that mean she's telling the truth about the NC? Maybe yes, maybe no. Thing is, if she wanted to, she could send the NC letter and turn around and tell OM she didn't mean it and just did that to make me happy, so part of me believes that if she hadn't told him she couldn't talk to him again that she'd agree to my request for the NC letter and turn around and send him an email saying, ignore that.
Am I concerned about her not wanting to go to MC? Not right at the minute. If she still refuses in a given time frame, then I will have some trouble, but I really didn't expect her to agree at this point.
Did I make a mistake? Could be. But I guess here's my thinking. Someone has to break this stalemate. If I have to take the leap of faith, I'm willing. Like I've said many times, I'm done. If I found out today that she was lying to me and still contacting/seeing him, I would walk immediately. Both boys have told her that they would never talk to her again if she was with OM even if it's after DS16 graduates. Everyone in the world knows OM is a player, so even if there is limited contact right now, he's going to disappoint her sooner rather than later. So if I have to act "as if" the affair is over for a while, I can do that. I've seen indications in the past that if I would have had the strength to hold out, it probably would have ended on it's own.
Maybe I'm stupid and I blew it in the 4th quarter, but I'm going to take my chances. I know cheaters LIE, but I saw some real emotion from her last night that I haven't seen in a long, long time. I just might be back here in 3-6 months saying you were correct and I caught her again, but I'm tired of this crap and want to see where we can go, one way or another.
On a side note, tell me what I do about OMW wanting me to testify at her divorce trial? How the he!! do I handle that one. I told her I'd rather not, but what if they supoena me?
Last edited by Hope4us; 04/12/0804:21 PM.
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
