Sandi, I'm somewhat of a recluse here and don't get about much because I feel "none the wiser". But I'm amazed at your (good)fighting spirit. I see you sometimes on Lan's thread and he even quoted you once on my thread once and how to be tough with W on the finances. I also read Forrest's cryptic posts with a lot of interest and amusement tho' he hasn't yet got on my case yet or told us much about his own "sitch". His thread has 3 or 4 posts and believe it or not one of them is mine - just search for his posts and go to the last one. Keep up the good fight (tho' I'm ready to throw in the towel)!
Me-48, W-38 M14, D11, S7 W filed D 01/07 W had to move out 06/07 Current Thread
Hi fb2, thank you for that post. I wish I knew something to say to help you at this time. I know there comes a point in time where each person has to make their own decision if they can go on any farther with the M and all the crap they are putting up with. I do wish the best for you.
Hang on as long as you think you can before giving up and then you will know you did all you could do to save your M. Let us know how things are going with you.
Take care of yourself.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I haven't posted for a while, but wanted to say HI!
I'm sorry that you haven't been feeling well. I know it must have been hard for you to not get to make up for last year's birthday, but even though you weren't able to cook, you were there and you wanted to be. I'd imagine that your additude was better and everyone had a much better time... Next year can be ever better!!
I will pray for your GS. I know that God has done amazing things in my life and he can make miraculous things happen. I think patience is key. He knows what we need and when we need it better than we ever will! I think it's a great idea to use the DBing techniques on him. Do what works!!
thinking of you and hoping that you are feeling better...
take care - ann
If i can't fall in love... I'd like to fall in chocolate! ~ Author Unknown
Ann, Sweetie......you always know what to say to make me feel better! I appreciate it every time you drop in to talk. Yes, please pray for my GS. I do know that God can get his eyes open. I am trusting God to intervene for what is best in my GS's life. However, pray also for me that I can keep my mouth shut and stop messing up God's work.
Take care and come back again.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Hi, just letting everyone know that we are still alive and kicking....lol. My H has been really sick the past three weeks and he is so stubborn about going to a doctor! He has also ran out of his AD meds and he is not easy to live with under those conditions, but he did something the other night that I think may make twice in 42 years he has done.
He was coughing every breath and was weak as a dish rag and I asked him if he had taken any medicine and he said no. (This drives me crazy b/c I can't understand why he had rather suffer than take medicine and why he won't take it regulary instead of letting himself get so bad. But I think he is old enough to know what to do and I am not going to be his mother. As I understand it, men don't want their W's to be there mama, so I don't "nag" him about it.) However, when he said "no" between gasping for breath....I asked him "Why"? He got mad and answered me rather grouchy, so I just turned around and left the room and got busy doing something else. I didn't say a word, but I thought that if he had rather lay there and cough himself to death before he took some medicine.....so be it.
Well, later he came and apologized to me. I nearly fainted. I was at the computer and he laid his hand on my shoulder and said, "I'm sorry I was such a grouch earlier", and I patted his hand and told him it was okay and that I understood. That was a big step for him b/c he use to never do that!
I think he has had a bad reaction to the pollen for the first time. He isn't convinced that is what it is and he just takes cough meds. When I got him to take allergy meds, it got a little better. But it is severe enough that I think he needs to see a doctor b/c this constant hard coughing is hard on his heart. It is not in his chest or I would really be scared, but still the constant coughing is bad for him. The kids are getting worried about him. I know it appears that I don't care, but ever since we have been married, (which he was seldom sick), if I ever showed any concern about him....he would act mad. Now maybe some of you men could explain that to me. Why doesn't he like for me to do something for him when he is sick? Why does he act mad and push me away? He doesn't do anyone else that way. Is it b/c he feels less than a man just b/c he is sick?
When he came home from his heart surgery....it was terrible. I thought I was going to pull my hair out. He does not make a good patient when I am his nurse....lol.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Hi, just letting everyone know that we are still alive and kicking....lol. My H has been really sick the past three weeks and he is so stubborn about going to a doctor! He has also ran out of his AD meds and he is not easy to live with under those conditions, but he did something the other night that I think may make twice in 42 years he has done.
He was coughing every breath and was weak as a dish rag and I asked him if he had taken any medicine and he said no. (This drives me crazy b/c I can't understand why he had rather suffer than take medicine and why he won't take it regulary instead of letting himself get so bad. But I think he is old enough to know what to do and I am not going to be his mother. As I understand it, men don't want their W's to be there mama, so I don't "nag" him about it.) However, when he said "no" between gasping for breath....I asked him "Why"? He got mad and answered me rather grouchy, so I just turned around and left the room and got busy doing something else. I didn't say a word, but I thought that if he had rather lay there and cough himself to death before he took some medicine.....so be it.
Well, later he came and apologized to me. I nearly fainted. I was at the computer and he laid his hand on my shoulder and said, "I'm sorry I was such a grouch earlier", and I patted his hand and told him it was okay and that I understood. That was a big step for him b/c he use to never do that!
I think he has had a bad reaction to the pollen for the first time. He isn't convinced that is what it is and he just takes cough meds. When I got him to take allergy meds, it got a little better. But it is severe enough that I think he needs to see a doctor b/c this constant hard coughing is hard on his heart. It is not in his chest or I would really be scared, but still the constant coughing is bad for him. The kids are getting worried about him. I know it appears that I don't care, but ever since we have been married, (which he was seldom sick), if I ever showed any concern about him....he would act mad. Now maybe some of you men could explain that to me. Why doesn't he like for me to do something for him when he is sick? Why does he act mad and push me away? He doesn't do anyone else that way. Is it b/c he feels less than a man just b/c he is sick?
When he came home from his heart surgery....it was terrible. I thought I was going to pull my hair out. He does not make a good patient when I am his nurse....lol. Thank goodness he isn't sick often.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
You are such a tower of strength on these boards for others. Its also good that your H is relaxed about you being on the PC, but perhaps you already discussed all that on another thread and I missed it.
I think some men see it as a weakness when they are ill and dont want to make a "fuss" and dont want others to make a fuss either as this only highlights their predicament. My BF was certainly like that. Even now he has depression he doesnt like to mention it!
Ali x ______________ Me: 37 BF: 34 T: 9 years IDLYA: 2 Nov 07 Own flat: 26 Jan 08 Depression confirmed: 4 Mar backing off?
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
I think some men see it as a weakness when they are ill and dont want to make a "fuss" and dont want others to make a fuss either as this only highlights their predicament. My BF was certainly like that. Even now he has depression he doesnt like to mention it!
I think you may be right about that where a lot of men are concerned. My uncle even explain it to me in much the same way. However, with my H, it is wierd b/c he acts mad if I show any concern for him and he doesn't act that way toward anybody else. I have told him that, and asked why, but got no answer. I don't know what to do, so most of the time I just leave him alone. He is old enough to know when to take his medicine, etc. but like this morning, he kept laying in there coughing his head off and finally I asked him if he had taken his medicine and he said, "Not yet". Well....duh....why not? What is he waiting on? It drives me nuts. I would like to show him that I care about his health and I have asked him not to keep it a secret from me when he is not well....but he does. I worry about his heart, etc. b/c he covers it up and won't talk to me. He is working less and less b/c he can't do hold out to do the physical labor any more. But, he won't discuss it with me. So, I appear like I don't care....but I do and it makes me sad that he won't discuss it with me. He has always been that way and I don't know what to do to change it.
Thanks for coming by my thread. It has been pretty slow. I haven't had many peope to drop by, so I just go out to other forums and visit people there. I don't know if I can help anyone, but I would like to.
Take care.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
