Hope4us' Struggle, part 2

[Hope4us]

Pup, No she has no business reason to contact him and I know what you're going to say, expose to work. That is kind of touchy, but I've been talking with a number of my superiors (whom I consider friends) to see if there is a way we can make sure OM doesn't get another contract with our company when his current one ends in a year and a half.

Now for the update. We talked last night. Like we haven't in a year. I got a lot of stuff out, so did she. I told her that if she could look me in the eye and tell me that she did in fact tell OM on Monday that she couldn't talk to him any more, I would accept that. But if she's lying to me about any kind of contact I will immediately file for divorce and custody and expose why to her family. She's agreed to get rid of the affair stuff. She wasn't happy about that but I finally convinced her. She won't see a marriage counselor or do the Retro weekend (at least at this point and I didn't push it), but she'll consider reading a couple of books, "after the affair" for one.

I told her that she was going to have to earn my trust just like I was going to have to show her that I'm working on the issues she had in the marriage that led to the affair. I told her if she's lying to me again and this is just another manipulation tactic that gives me and especially the kids false hope that that would be unforgivable. We talked about triggers I have and how she's going to need to be understanding of those and help me get through them. Don't think in her present foggy state she gets that totally yet, but she gets the idea.

She's still VERY FOGGY. I talked about some stuff I'll need to heal i.e. that big hole in the puzzle that she knows and I don't and she's not ready to go there yet so I didn't push. I didn't really expect her to be ready to go there yet, but I've got time.

So of course, just when I think we may be headed in the right direction, at least with a small hope that we might make this work, OMW text messages me and says her lawyer is considering calling me to testify at her divorce trial with OM. Great, just frickin GREAT. What do I do with that one? She said if I didn't want to she would tell her lawyer not to call me, but if he thinks it's critical to their case, he might supoena (sp?) me.

So, what a night. I guess I compromised on the NC letter, but she knows without a doubt what the consequences are if she breaks NC. I figure I'll give her some time to defog some before pushing for more. She's still VERY angry about me exposing her STD to OMW and OM. She didn't go into it, but I was right all along, OM wasn't too happy about that. Of course I'm sure she lied to him and told him I was making it up, but the seed was planted. Maybe that's why she doesn't seem to be going through too much WD at the moment, as that exposure happened 2 1/2 months ago and she was pretty down for a number of weeks after). I don't know.

I guess I'm going to use DB and act "as if" she's telling me the truth. If she's lying I'll deal with that at the appropriate time. Not ready to move to Piecing yet, but maybe soon....

Ok, gotta run into work for a bit. I'll check in later.

Hope4Us.