I think it's great you're so committed. You should continue doing what you think is best.
In some regards, my sitch resembles yours. I've decided the best I can do is agree with W to ending M and move on. I'll admit that part of this is "acting as if" - what can I realistically expect by working so hard for many months on a relationship, when a R takes two people. Especially when W is having A. The other part of my approach is that the state I'm in requires a 6 month waiting period before D is finalized. I think I can work on myself and be the best I can be and if something changes in her and she's willing to do as much work on herself as I am on myself, then there's something to talk about. If not, I need to find a partner, not someone I sacrifice myself to. I'm going to pursue my OWN path, not look to her for approval. That will either repair or end our M.
That's my $.02. Wish I could be more helpful but these are such hard decisions. lodo
