Hi I am going to make an appointment with accupunturist I never thought of going for emotional stuff, but my C suggested it and I think it may help ill let you know Ive done it before it is relaxing
H here tonight He looked depreesed -very again he did chat with neighbors that were talking outside with me not talking to me too much--seemed very quiet H did bring my favorite sparkling water without me even asking
I left to meet a friend for a power walk and talk it was great D12 said she talked to H He said it wasnt her fault, h leaving mommy and him didnt get along he loves her and will always visit he asked her how her therapy went??? she said he asked her lots of questions about school ect.. she said he hasnt been there like that for her in a while she initiated the talk she asked him if he was coming home he asid maybe???? seems like a conflicting message he will always visit/ maybe come home??
I think she gets a little mixed up and she is not a reliable source but she seemed happy and seemed to get something from him that she needed/wanted I will mention that to him the talk he had with her seemed to make her feel secure so he knows whatever he said/did was helful to her hope you all have a peaceful friday and thanks for listening! peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Happy Friday Peace! It sounds to me that your H made baby steps. He thought of you - since he made a special effort to think of what you like and got it for you! The talk with your S sounded positive too. If she felt better from it, I would think your H gave her some hope. I like that you are going to give him positive feedback. Given he said to her he was leaving because he thought you and him didn't get along, it might be a good idea to let him know when he is doing things right, e.g. the talk with D12 and being so kind/sweet to get you the water.
Thanks PH for the encouragement H just left with kids he is going to pick this wagon up for me that is kind of far so im happy about that He knew the babysitter is coming and he gets short with me when I ask him to put S6 to sleep as the babysitter has had hip surgery and cant walk up stairs and he snaps a bit
I think he may not like that i go out every saturday dancing tonight ive got short shorts on..its hot here Just what i feel may be wrong everytime he acts like an $ss, it putd me one step closer to DONE Peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Peace, When he comes back with the wagon, make it a bit deal for helping you out. Write a sweet Thank You card or short note or text message or VM. Make him know that his kind acts are very much appreciated.
He probably is jealous of you being with other men when you go dancing. He may not be necessarily mean, about your dancing, I think.
H visited and stayed here with kids tonight seemed crabby and he looks uncomfortable any little thing sets him off he picked up a special part needed to put wagon together he fixed wagon and left his drill here?? maybe he doesnt need it or will get it nextime
I thanked him and also validated his talk with D 12 the other night and how happy she was with whatever they talked about
he was snappy a lot anyway I got a call on my cell..I was going to call friend back dont know if he got jealous? told him I was going for a walk in park to return call to friend and he said Im so controlling????like out of blue..I did nothing controlling as far as I could see I think he said it maybe he feels controlled with time me leaving when he comes then he is stuck here with kids but IM usually back before his usual time that he made for his visit is up
he leaves when he wants unless I am out He wants me to be at his beck and call! who knows! we are not having alot of interactions lately mostly brief he reacts and I am not reacting today church NEW Church I went to had a message about reconcilliation coincedence peace
I told him I wouldnt be long I donr think I did anything esoecially controlling he is the control freak now
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Peace, He's using the "You are controlling" accusation to push your buttons. Don't let those buttons work anymore, to break the cycle. If you stick with it long enough, he'll realize that his tactic isn't working and will stop. There's a good book called "The Solo Partner" by Phil De Luca about how to constructively handle conflict situations. I am proud of you for validating and thanking him. Don't be discouraged by the lack of response now. It may take a while. He's determined to be crabby but I amsure he appreciates it deep down. He just probably doesn't want to admit you're being nice to him. -PH
Hi peace- I think MLCers sometimes project what they think about themselves on us or they can just grasp on to anything they can find, justifiable or not, to have reason to show their anger. Sounds like you handled everything well.
Did your H start to get angry after you told him how much your D appreciated the talk that they have the other night? It makes you sense that if you are being nice and encouraging, it makes him makes him feel guilty...thus angry.
Interesting coincidence about the message at the new church...hopefully it will be something you can put to use some day soon.
PH Upside Thanks I think he was crabby anyway when he got here yesterday and he looks bad I feel sorry for him he looks in pain or out of control he seemed to get angry at anything yesterday I dont think he reacts when I am nice he reacts more when Im unavailable I think and I sense he gots angry when I said i was leaving to return phonecall and use him as a babysitter but RCR told me to say since we are NOT a family anymore, I will leave you alone to spend time with the kids i think he still likes pretending we are this make believe family even for a few moments peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
