Hi Brian, just to introduce myself....seems we're in the same boat with this cell phone business. Just wondering what you're thoughts are now. Have you decided not to confront...if it helps, and I'm not sure at this very raw stage of my dilemma that anything I say would help someone...but H still leaves his phone in his car. I had to duck out for milk late on night after he had parked me in and decided to snoop. I looked at the phone, but it's a new one that has something of a standby code on it. He punches in the code, then if it's not used for a certain time it goes to sleep mode and requires the code before accessing anything. B*%%%$##! I guess the positive thing about this is that I now know that there is no point in snooping. i was obsessed with checking it previously, and it only got me into trouble. The more I snooped the more I found, the more we fought. I guess the only thing now is that I want him to show there is nothing to hide by bringing it back inside and removing the code. However, any conversations about the phone have in the past only caused chaos..so as I've been busting my butt to be happy and positive, I'm not willing to take 2 steps backwards by pushing the issue.
this may be the wrong thing to do, but I figure with time..he may make the move to stop hiding it of his own accord. I just can't bear to be going backwards at this point, when I know that we only have a few weeks before another stressor gets thrown into the pot.
I now know the truth of the A, and despite the fact that I still WANT to check the phone, by not doing so, I am not seeing any calls to her, therefore am not imagining anything. Also it is a work phone, so I don't have access to the bills!! I can only trust that he is sticking to his promise not to contact her. If he is contacting her...I will find out eventually and that will be the end of the trust....something I'm sure he knows I mean with all of my heart. Also as they are now more than 12 hours away from each other, I personally don't see that he would be getting much out of the calls..except frustration...hell bring that on...let him experience a tiny fragment of what I've had!!
Hope this helps, but we each have to do what we feel is right anyway..so I wish you luck with whatever you decide. We can only hope that all of her calls are to a phone counsellor!!!!
