You come here to us and shout it out loud that you LOVE YOUR WIFE! This is a safe place to come and express your feelings...the good and the bad.

I suppose it is impossible to just stop asking yourself why this has happened to your W, but it does no good to do that. You can't really analyze it b/c it is all too crazy. And it beats you up emotionally and finally physically too. But, just as you stood by her while she was in the OR, you have to stand by your M by DBing every single day. If it helps any at all, look at it as if she had some type of disease and you just have to learn the coping strategies. In a lot of ways, it is like a disease that comsumes a person. You have your "how to" book from Michelle. Do your best to follow it. It is the best.

Keep doing things with the kids that they like to do. When a man has four of them, it leaves little time to have personal GAL time, right? Besides, they really need you, as I said last time. They probably feel insecure b/c they can pick up on mom and dad's R problems. Spending quality time with them is good medicine.

Take care and please keep coming back. It does help to yell out what you don't need to say to her at this time.

Sandi

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!