Sitting around a fire sounds nice. Some of the best times I remember with my W in the early days (pre kids) were camping up in the Sierra mountains. We still go camping - we have a weeklong trip scheduled for late July - but with the kids and other families, so it's quite a bit less romantic than those early trips.
No, my W doesn't know about this site. She wouldn't really understand and would probably think it's a little weird too. Actually, she'd probably get jealous of you! I've thought about having her read some of the various threads, thinking that maybe she would better understand me and what I'm going through. But I wouldn't want her to read the stuff I've posted, I'd feel inhibited if I knew she could read it. This is the only place I can talk about this stuff. The only person I've talked to, other than my W, is her best friend. She is very supportive of us staying together, and is very encouraging, but I worry that anything I say to her will eventually be told to my W, so I don't say too much.
The age thing is/was definitely a factor in my W's decision to have an A, I think. She is 39, and has talked a lot about not wanting to turn 40. She's been a little overly concerned with her looks lately (which started before the A), including losing weight, going to the gym regularly, getting a breast lift/implants, getting her teeth whitened, tanning, getting manicures/pedicures, etc. She looks great, and I don't mind all of this, except that she seems to have lost a little perspective about the important things. I'm 41 now, and I did a little mourning at the end of being 39 myself, but I didn't do anything crazy or obsess about it abnormally.
Kim, if you think that your H may think that you will always take him back, no matter what, then I think you should tell him that you won't. I'm sure that you could do it gently, but firmly. I agree with you, I won't be put through this hell again. If possible, I'll see the M through this crisis, but another A would be the end. Come to think of it, I'll probably have to have the same talk with my W, to make sure she's crystal clear on that.
