"It's a very fine line...doormat or polite, confident, etc...say what you got to say - briefly and be done, but try to avoid the guilt part maybe say something like I don't understand."
That is good advice. I have been trying to do that. The only problem with my W is when her guilt has so engulfed her that she can think I am attacking her by mentioning the color of the sky. I am not DBing, I am just standing in the gap for my kids and making sure that my wife's MLC harms her kids as little as possible. God luck to you guys and ladies
