Yes, I found keeping things business-like helped a great deal with detachment and defusing some of the tension (although sometimes they do get a little angrier because a spouse's lack of anger can frustrate them... it's much easier to divorce someone you are angry at...).

I think the fact you want the best for her shows some very positive things about you. Being able to care about someone you've loved (and probably still have some love for) unconditionally (not requiring love or kindness in return) is very generous, and selfless. I think it reflects a lot of growth and maturity.

There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.