Good points JM. Yes, the drug dealer thing is exactly how I think she feels at this point.
The main reason I'm avoiding calling is most everyone has advised me to not call, "leave her alone." Someone said, "she can't pursue you if you're still pursuing her." So that's the main reason. I still have hope and I want to do every single thing to make the hope a possibility.
Another reason is, I got no response from a text message in early Feb. I got no response from a card sent in early March. I got no card/text/gift on my birthday in late March. I wouldn't be surprised if I called her, that she would not return the call, answer the phone (she has caller ID on cell & house phones) or anything - she will probably just ignore it.
But I'm willing to try if you think I should. I realize sometimes the ones who leave don't really know what they want and she might actually be happy that I call. Or maybe she's ready to "be friends". Or I guess if I get the cold shoulder, I'll know she's "through" and I can move on. Actually that's where I am now. By her actions (inaction) I'm assuming she's "through." Don't you agree? Why should I even call her?
By the way, I will not wait 2 years. I am not waiting now. If someone else came along, I'd go for it. If I knew she just needed more time, I'd wait - maybe 2 or 3 more months at the most.
Regarding the "illusion" - I don't know anything for sure. But in the past, when we've broken up, she has told me that it was very difficult, she was miserable, etc. I honestly think (not being cocky) she still loves me & cares for me and will NOT (like the ex-druggie) let herself call me to reconcile - "because God doesn't want it" - that's what she said in Nov. (She thinks our inability to get along was God intervening to let us know it's wrong.) And if she's "happy" without me, then I suppose that's the best thing for everyone.
