MLC is CRAZY!!! What a Roller Coaster!!!

[2ndnoah]

tpaschal, I know it's been a long time since I have posted. Almost a month, now. I hit rock bottom, but am slowly, slowly, coming back up. I wanted to say, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for your much needed advice. I wish I was where you are now. I printed your replied posting. You are such a strong woman. My gosh, your hubby is a stupid man to have let you go.

I have good moments and bad ones. My hubby has still not turned around. He doesn't care about my boys. Instead, it is all about him and his happiness. He is still persuing a divorce. He has the crookedest attorney in town. Hubby has pulled all kinds of
stunts like; changing the passwords on our accounts so that I cannot access them, cut the money off, put in a change of address so I cannot get any mail, etc. He refused to sign the temporary support order allowing me to pay the bills and save our perfect credit rating. We are now scheduled to go back to court to face a judge on the support money at the end of the month.

I enrolled my son into college this last week. Hubby said, "don't expect any help from me, he's on his own." My other son pole vaults and is being trained for the state, nationals, and junior olympics this summer. I email hubby to let him know I was going to buy him a new vaulting pole because he had out grown the other one and again...."he's on his own, he can use what the school provides."

Hubby has broken in to our home 3 times now. He has caused a scene at one of the track meets. He got one of his guns, cocked it, and when I asked....does that gun have a bullet in it, he had this weird look on his face and said, "should I?" He has no contact with me. No contact even about our sons. I did email him on signing the income tax returns and still have not heard anything back from him.

Everything in my life has gone down hill since he left. It has been one thing after another. I keep asking God how much more? Let me share....Let's see.....there was an ice storm in December, our house and 5 acres looks like a bomb when off. The tree guys gave me an estimate of $32,000. for the clean up. No, insurance is not paying for it. My chimney has a hole in it, my roof has rotten places from the leaks, my living room and stairway ceilings have leaks, the hail storm this last week busted up the roof, I have change the house locks on my doors 3 times now because of him. I now know how to change dead bolts and door knobs (8 total) in record time. My car is using oil like candy, the breaks are shot (another $1000.00 for repairs), the sunroof drain tubes are plugged up so now water dumps on your head when driving. The garage opener broke, the dishwasher flooded our kitchen, the stove is shot, the dryer vent and tube over heated and was plugged up, the grass is tall in th epasture and yard, the mower is broken, the big tractor has a flat tire that is liquid filled and you cannot add air to it. Whatever that means. And so much more crap.....but the real kicker is the recent rain storms washed the only road to my school and job out. 500 feet of road out. I now have to drive 1 1/2 hours to get to and from work. The road will not be repaired for at least a month (don't hold your breath). All while driving my oil drinking car with no breaks and water dumping on your head! That same rain washed my gravel drive our into the street. I spend 2 hours shoveling it back to fill up the ruts....the next day before I got home it had washed back out into the street. It's still there! Had to go to a "Divorce Parenting" class required by Oklahoma laws. That was crappy! Hated that day! What a day! but I did talk to a child shrink and she told me I was saying and doing with my boys, perfectly. That made me feel good seeing that I am flying by the seat of my pants in knowing what to do and say in divorce.

I put a call into my attorney and it's been a week know and have not heard anything. They don't care about me, my family, or my life. They just want money, lots and lots of money. I am living off of credit cards because hubby has cut off the money and will not even pay child support or buy groceries at this point.

Lost 2 more pounds. Look like crap. I want my life back. I would love to GAL but I have too much going on. There are times I really hate my hubby. He has no responsibility except to have fun. I don't know.....why do we love these jerks???

tpascal I hope your life is shaping up and you have found happiness. You sound like you have a great head on your shoulders. I hope you do not experience anything like I am right now. Since it has been 3 weeks since my last post I pray your hubby has awaken and your family is back together. I am praying for you. You are right, I need to stop thinking about my hubby and trying to fit things. I cannot make him love me. I cannot make him understand or see what he is doing. I cannot save him or fix him, us, my marriage, or my family. I just have to detach, detach, detach!!!! This is the hardest thing for me to do. I will go a couple of days and do good. Then when I am least expecting it....bam, I am right back to being attached, trying to reason and get him to come home. It's been almost 7 months now. 7 months! My gosh, I would have never guessed he would have been gone this long and to never have looked back that is biggest shocker. I have read 31 books. Nothing works for my situation. I guess I am at fault to for the different methods not working. I seem to go 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. I wish I could just turn cold like him. I'm hanging in there. Not liking it...but hanging in there surviving.